Gratitude

lately there has been much thought swirling through my head. in the past couple of weeks i have become grateful for the suffering and hard time in the past. i am able to look back and see so many lessons God has taught me through those times. granted they were not always easy or fun but i wouldn't trade them for anything.

i couldn't be where i am today without the past. do i wish it would have been easier or different? no, because the process of it all has made who i am today. as i sat and shared with a friend yesterday things came out of my mouth i didn't know where in my heart. not bad things but things i have learned through the past. if things were still the same i would have the same friends, be in the same routine of church, being doing jr. high (which was easier for me), and be no closer to the Lord. i would be stuck. i would being doing church as a means to follow Christ. we are not called to sit in a pew and absorb (although that is a part of it). as i had stated in an earlier blog, i was content to go to church, serve and have my 'family'(again that is a part of being a christian but there is so much more) it thought i got it. i had heard before that we need to go outside the walls of this building and reach the lost. i thought i was doing that, and in part i was but i didn't get it. i probably don't fully get it now.

following Christ is so much more than being a part of a church body. we think that being in the church and serving in the church is what it is about and if we are honest we would probably say we know there is more but it is risky out 'there'. i realize there is a need for us to be fed at some level church ministries are good. i am not saying all the ministry is outside the church but 25% should be within the walls and 75% should be outside the wall's to the lost, poor, and oppressed that is where Gods heart is.

i am falling more in love with a God who is risky and not safe, but still incredibly good, loving and detailed. this life i am living, the christian life as we like to call it, is not about being safe and secure, it is about listening and seeking God and being obedient.

i have stepped out on an endeavor that to many seems crazy, risky and maybe unwise. i understand that you may not understand yet but i pray that you too will fall head over heels in love with my God who does not call us to safety and security but to being Christ to people.