This past weekend God sent us away as staff. We had planned a retreat about a month ago, we wanted to go away but we felt like doors kept shutting on our options. We had a few different cabins, one with no shower, one was a trailer, others were too far away... none of these things were that bad but we wanted to be able to really meet with each other and with God and not have distractions of one another stench or being on top of each other with no space at all.
Thursday afternoon we met together to decide what to do about the weekend. We concluded we knew God wanted us together and it didn't matter where. My apartment was an option as my roommates were gone for the weekend and we had a few others, in the middle of the weekend Mark came up with the idea to go to Grand Rapids, MI and stay with a friend of ours who owned her own home and had a gracious heart. He called she said yes, and we got a van and in less than 24 hours from the phone call we were in GR.
We had an amazing weekend of becoming a family of siblings focusing on God as our father. We got to know each other very well, we rub up against each other good and bad. We began to understand what makes each other tick. We view each other as staff as sibling with no hierarchy. Ron does take the lead but we each are able to lead when we feel the Lord nudging us. It was the prefect weekend, we needed to get away we each had things that would have been distractions to the weekend had we stayed here, people, events, schoolwork and life.
On Saturday we spent a period of time getting with God. It was a time for me in which God brought many things together. I have been doing a couple different things in getting with God lately, going through the book of Romans through my bible study, John 15 with my small group and reading the book Irresistible Revolution. In my time God began by showing me how many things were distracting me at the moment and how I make distractions in life to avoid going deeper with Him and with people. As I began to quiet myself and seek Him, He was quick to reveal Himself to me. He took me to Psalm 41:13 "I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear I will help you.'" In John 15 Jesus is talking about how we are friends of Him if we remain in the vine and how He chose us, we did not choose Him. He chose me to serve Him in the inner city by being Christ to these people and He has taken hold of my right hand and He is the one helping me every step of the way when I remain in His vine. I have nothing to fear when I am in His presence being obedient to what He has called me to do.
This thought was so simple to me at that moment, it was a huge reassurance of being in His will right now. As people say things to me (or us as a staff) like, have you found a job yet, are you happy with your choice, is everything turning out like you had hoped, are you sure about this, etc. The list goes on and on, these are things said to all of us by people we love and care about, not simply people we randomly meet. In those conversations Satan steps in and makes you doubt sometimes what God, who has created the universe to every last detail, has called each of us to do. And other times we are just hurt because these people don't trust our choices. We understand as a staff and I personally that what we are doing seems crazy to some (well most people). But God has called us to do something for Him, is it always easy NO, but the joy and heavenly rewards are incredible. I hesitate to make my walk with the Lord sound like it is peaches and cream all the time, the things He asks me to do are tough but the life of disobedience is tougher and heartbreaking!
Monday, September 25
Thursday, September 21
learning
I have failed this week. I have been trying to post every Monday and well not so much this week. Finally 72 hours later I am getting around to it.
We had a great event this past Sunday. We did a wRap Kidz Sunday at a Church in Racine. We were church, we did church and God showed up. Steve (one of the other staff members) and I went out last Thursday afternoon to get permission slips, we signed up 33 kids to go and other people had some other kids they signed up I believe we ended up with about 50 kids in all. While we were out last Thursday we really saw the fruit of our ministry in the relationships we have built within this community over the last 4 months. Steve has been helping out with the ministry for a couple of years and came on staff last October. It was amazing to see the kids excitement when they come running out of the house or even across the street to greet us. The were so excited. Meeting some parents for the first time and some for the 20th was awesome also. We were able to tell the parents more about our ministry and how awesome their kids are.
On Sunday morning we went to pick up the kids and many of them showed up. We went out to the church and they sang some of the songs we taught them this summer and did the motions. There was more movement going on in that church than I have experienced in my whole Christian walk probably. We as staff shared about what God was doing through our ministry in the inner city. I was able to share some of my miracles that God has done in getting my bills paid. It was awesome there are a few other churches in Racine that would like us to come and do something like this in there church on a Sunday morning. We are excited about going.
Quick story in this whole process, I have gained a new appreciation for my friend Brandon. I was in charge of putting together the power point for the service with the songs and all. I spent hours putting 50+ slides together editing and aligning them with the music so the person would not have to go back and forth. The music we sang was is not 'normal' church music so the sound guy was not familiar with it. I got it to the church and got it on the computer there only to find out the font I used which I love, was not on that computer. I had to reformat all the slides so that the font fit on the slides. I had prayed earlier in the week as I was working on the slides that God would help me be okay if the slides didn't work out just perfect. He did. I have been witness to many a technical difficulty during a church service or youth group. Brandon usually did the power point for his talks and usually the worship for the evening or morning, I now know how much time it takes and the frusteration that could come from things not working.
We are going on a Staff Retreat this weekend. It should be good, I am looking forward to spending time with them. We are going to a friends house in Grand Rapids, Mark has connections.
This is Steve:
We had a great event this past Sunday. We did a wRap Kidz Sunday at a Church in Racine. We were church, we did church and God showed up. Steve (one of the other staff members) and I went out last Thursday afternoon to get permission slips, we signed up 33 kids to go and other people had some other kids they signed up I believe we ended up with about 50 kids in all. While we were out last Thursday we really saw the fruit of our ministry in the relationships we have built within this community over the last 4 months. Steve has been helping out with the ministry for a couple of years and came on staff last October. It was amazing to see the kids excitement when they come running out of the house or even across the street to greet us. The were so excited. Meeting some parents for the first time and some for the 20th was awesome also. We were able to tell the parents more about our ministry and how awesome their kids are.
On Sunday morning we went to pick up the kids and many of them showed up. We went out to the church and they sang some of the songs we taught them this summer and did the motions. There was more movement going on in that church than I have experienced in my whole Christian walk probably. We as staff shared about what God was doing through our ministry in the inner city. I was able to share some of my miracles that God has done in getting my bills paid. It was awesome there are a few other churches in Racine that would like us to come and do something like this in there church on a Sunday morning. We are excited about going.
Quick story in this whole process, I have gained a new appreciation for my friend Brandon. I was in charge of putting together the power point for the service with the songs and all. I spent hours putting 50+ slides together editing and aligning them with the music so the person would not have to go back and forth. The music we sang was is not 'normal' church music so the sound guy was not familiar with it. I got it to the church and got it on the computer there only to find out the font I used which I love, was not on that computer. I had to reformat all the slides so that the font fit on the slides. I had prayed earlier in the week as I was working on the slides that God would help me be okay if the slides didn't work out just perfect. He did. I have been witness to many a technical difficulty during a church service or youth group. Brandon usually did the power point for his talks and usually the worship for the evening or morning, I now know how much time it takes and the frusteration that could come from things not working.
We are going on a Staff Retreat this weekend. It should be good, I am looking forward to spending time with them. We are going to a friends house in Grand Rapids, Mark has connections.
This is Steve:
Tuesday, September 12
Mixing it up
God has been teaching me a lot lately. It has been a wild ride with ups and downs. It has been hard some days. I have been blessed to be able to make up my own job as I go along and really more so as God reveals His plan for me and my ministry in the inner city. This is incredible but it is a HUGE responsibility to be listening for God and then moving on what He wants. I have struggled the last couple of weeks with what it should look like. You think about Family Ministries or Women's Ministries and it means parenting classes, scrap booking, bible studies, fitness classes you name it. While some of that will work at some point in the inner city that is not where God wants it to go right now, that would fill no need in the 'hood. I have battled with this all summer trying to figure out what my ministry should look like. And thinking about what other people think my ministry should look. Oh man that is a bad place to be when you are trying to follow what God wants. The conflict that comes it not good, I should have never let Satan take me to those thoughts. There where many other things going on as well, I watch my roommates work hard, one has two jobs and school and another is a first year teacher. Needless to say they are never home and work while they are here. I sit an compare myself to them, NOT good either. I am striking out all over. When I don't have to go to work until 9 or 10 and they have been up and out for 3 hours at that point. But then I fail to remember my working at nights or on the weekend. The feelings of 'I am not doing enough' and then God says to me, "Compared to who are you no doing enough. You are fine."
I have many past experiences that God wants to use within this ministry from camping ministry to Junior High Ministry to being on a Ministry Team. In times I feel as if I am stepping on toes with what God wants me to do because it falls in someone elses area or it doesn't really fit into Family Ministries. Last week after a night of uncertainty and brokenness I spent some good time with the Lord. He simply said to me, "It is not going to look like anything you can imagine or put together," and at another point He said, "Stop trying to live the life I have called you to and just live the truth you know." Two powerful things. I was broken realizing what what i was doing. Then the clarity came and He showed me more areas where He was stretching me and where I needed to let go.
I love my planner, I mean LOVE it. I live by it. I opened at a recent staff meeting and the month of September had about 3 events written on it. My thought was, "I am a bum, I don't have any thing going on." I am so bad with my planner that I would go in and write events that have already happened on dates so that at the end of the month I feel as if I have been productive and I am popular with social events. Because my month is packed. Oh it is disgusting. In my new job nothing is planned very much in advance and some social events are also staff meetings or time together. I am still working through these thoughts of a full schedule means success. I am learning and God is teaching me in it how to live within His planner because it is more balanced.
I have met with Ron and Donna and we talked about the direction of my ministry in particular and I am so excited now and before I know it I will need to use a planner to make sure I have enough downtime because I will be busy before I know it. Part of family ministries is working with volunteers who want to come in and serve. My ministry is the bridge that equips people to connect to inner city families. We don't want or have work for all people who come in to serve on our building we want them to go into the home of a family and truly be Christ to them. My ministry will be the connection for this as I know the families in the 'hood. This is just one aspect of my job.
One area I really feel God calling me to is to write a curriculum for our wRap Kidz program. I felt like I was stepping on toes with our wRap Kidz director. But with the experiences God has blessed me with I know I am supposed to be working on it. I want to work with Katy and we will work together but we need to create an outline of a program so we are more free with work with in on a daily basis next summer. I am so excited for this. I have many ideas and can't wait to get the ball rolling. This is what I will be spending the majority of my time on for the next couple weeks. Then as things begin to pick-up it will already be in the works.
God has really been mixing it up lately. But I like it, sometimes the beaters hurt but the faster you learn the quick you can become more of what He is creating me to be.
Monday, September 4
Affirmation
Most days I wake up and I can't believe that I am so blessed to get to do what I do. Most people have to take off work or rearrange schedules to get to serve in the inner city, yet God has called me to this place for what the world sees as a 'job', how I make my living. But this gets to be my lifestyle. I just can't fathom it. Why me? I look at some stupid things I do, my sin and I compare myself to other people and think my faith is not even close to where it should be. But where exactly is that? I am comparing it to a friend, co-worker, or maybe some one I admire, these people are not the ones I should be comparing myself to. I can only ask one person one question, God. He always smiles down and says, "Sweet Daughter, you are right where I want you," or "Beloved, you are on the right track." These are things he has shared with me in my moments of question and disbelief.
Some of these moments of doubts comes with the close of the summer. My job falls more on my shoulders, I begin to really direct its steps with the guidance of the Lord. I have been scared. It requires so much more vulnerability on my part. Putting myself out there trying to connect with women in the community, by doing home visits. These make me nervous because I will go door to door with some of the women whom I have made relationships with this past summer. God will provided all that I need but in preparation I think of conversation starters and planning the conversation. I worry and am distracted over the little things. I know that it will be as rewarding as the summer.
God has been encouraging my heart in other ways as well. Our last event for the summer and in some ways first big event for the community was a huge success because God showed up. He brought the people he wanted there. We held an event in conjunction with the Starving Jesus tour. In the afternoon we had a picnic lunch and games for the wRap Kidz. This was awesome. The kids had not seen many of us in about two weeks, so let's say they were pumped! It was incredible to see them come running in looking for their favorite intern or staff member. The hugs were tight and long last Tuesday. The kids had a blast. We had a break and a transition time to get ready for a coffee house in the evening for young adults. Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon came for the evening part and spoke about not being chained to a pew and getting out into the community. God used this message to convict some and for us as staff He strongly encouraged our hearts by showing us we weren't alone. These guys are doing a 40 city tour sharing this message. We had a coffee house then were people could meander around to 3 different rooms for prayer, worship or fellowship. People stayed and hung out and really fellowshiped. It was awesome to see. We had about 60 - 70 young adults there. The building was being used for what God wanted to do that night. It was great people have commented on how strong the spirit was in that building. When you work in a place everyday or you get used to that feeling you forget. I have prayed that I would still notice that feeling.
In preparation for the event Mark had been planning for months and I joined him full force about a week prior to the event. We worked hard, it was crazy how many details kept coming up. Both of us have worked in a church before. I volunteered in a position and I didn't need much help because I didn't have many kids but I still know what it is like to put events on alone. Mark on the other hand has done many many events set-up and tear down alone. He has done some big events that way. He hates it. Last Monday that day before the event we had gotten 90% of the things we needed to decorate and such to the Lazarus House. I and another staff member had called our staff from the summer and they came with a few others on Monday for 4 hours and in the morning on Tuesday to set-up. It was amazing Mark was so blessed and blown away because he could actually run last minuet errands while we were setting up and he didn't have to do it all alone. We transformed the Lazarus House, it was awesome. The Lazarus House is a 1851 mansion with a 1912 addition and we are restoring it to the original time period. So, needless to say that process is timely and expensive. But the Lord is providing in that and is making it into a building that is beautiful in a neighbor that needs it. It is not near finished but it is functional and God helped us make it into a wonderful space for Tuesday.
It was a day of encouragement in from the planning to the clean-up.
(I know this blog is sort of all over the place, sorry)
Some of these moments of doubts comes with the close of the summer. My job falls more on my shoulders, I begin to really direct its steps with the guidance of the Lord. I have been scared. It requires so much more vulnerability on my part. Putting myself out there trying to connect with women in the community, by doing home visits. These make me nervous because I will go door to door with some of the women whom I have made relationships with this past summer. God will provided all that I need but in preparation I think of conversation starters and planning the conversation. I worry and am distracted over the little things. I know that it will be as rewarding as the summer.
God has been encouraging my heart in other ways as well. Our last event for the summer and in some ways first big event for the community was a huge success because God showed up. He brought the people he wanted there. We held an event in conjunction with the Starving Jesus tour. In the afternoon we had a picnic lunch and games for the wRap Kidz. This was awesome. The kids had not seen many of us in about two weeks, so let's say they were pumped! It was incredible to see them come running in looking for their favorite intern or staff member. The hugs were tight and long last Tuesday. The kids had a blast. We had a break and a transition time to get ready for a coffee house in the evening for young adults. Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon came for the evening part and spoke about not being chained to a pew and getting out into the community. God used this message to convict some and for us as staff He strongly encouraged our hearts by showing us we weren't alone. These guys are doing a 40 city tour sharing this message. We had a coffee house then were people could meander around to 3 different rooms for prayer, worship or fellowship. People stayed and hung out and really fellowshiped. It was awesome to see. We had about 60 - 70 young adults there. The building was being used for what God wanted to do that night. It was great people have commented on how strong the spirit was in that building. When you work in a place everyday or you get used to that feeling you forget. I have prayed that I would still notice that feeling.
In preparation for the event Mark had been planning for months and I joined him full force about a week prior to the event. We worked hard, it was crazy how many details kept coming up. Both of us have worked in a church before. I volunteered in a position and I didn't need much help because I didn't have many kids but I still know what it is like to put events on alone. Mark on the other hand has done many many events set-up and tear down alone. He has done some big events that way. He hates it. Last Monday that day before the event we had gotten 90% of the things we needed to decorate and such to the Lazarus House. I and another staff member had called our staff from the summer and they came with a few others on Monday for 4 hours and in the morning on Tuesday to set-up. It was amazing Mark was so blessed and blown away because he could actually run last minuet errands while we were setting up and he didn't have to do it all alone. We transformed the Lazarus House, it was awesome. The Lazarus House is a 1851 mansion with a 1912 addition and we are restoring it to the original time period. So, needless to say that process is timely and expensive. But the Lord is providing in that and is making it into a building that is beautiful in a neighbor that needs it. It is not near finished but it is functional and God helped us make it into a wonderful space for Tuesday.
It was a day of encouragement in from the planning to the clean-up.
(I know this blog is sort of all over the place, sorry)
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