so, every holiday i get excited for the event. i some how think it is going to be different and we will have fun and make this great memory. most years/ events i am let down. i am not sure of the hype of these special days anymore.
this thanksgiving i woke at 7:59am in grand rapids, mi. i didn't set an alarm my body thankfully just woke up. i turned behind me to look out the window to see, snow, lots of snow. i got ready and got my things together to leave. i was nervous to drive home in the snow. by the time i was ready the snow had stopped falling for the most part or so i thought. i got my car loaded and mark got up and helped me clean off my car and explained the directions. i got in the car wishing with all my heart i didn't have to go home and i could go to detriot with him for the weekend.
i began driving found the gas station and the freeway just fine and the roads weren't really that bad. i hit some bad pockets of snow falling and blowing at the same time, leaving little to no visibility. i talked myself through them, literally. harry potter and his friends keep me company the whole way home.
i arrived at my sisters with time to spare. i relaxed a little and then the rest of my family began arriving. we ate at about 3:30pm. there were 16 people downstairs and 12 upstairs at her brother and sister-in-laws house. i helped get the table sat and food out. then i sat very quite at the table and ate. none of my siblings really talk to me much.
i think it is wierd these days. it has gotten better with my family as we are older now with the 16 years age gap between oldest and youngest. but since i became a christian life with my family has simply been wired. no one really knows what to talk to me about for fear that i will bible thump i think, but i have never been like that. i will talk about church and my faith a little, i'll bring it up randomly and i see people get uncomfortable so i stop. i am not one to get on the table and preach to them. it is not like that with my faith. they all walk on egg shells around me. i don't like it but i am not sure how to change it. they brought up mark and wondered where he is and why i drove to grand rapids for such a shor time, it is rediculous they tell me. i don't think the time was wasted at all. i tell them he is at home with his family. i really don't think my family likes him all that much. it bothers me a lot. i can't understand what they don't like. it is probably less dislike and more of the fact that they really don't know him. and also the fact that none of them have ever dated anyone who lives at any distance or that his/her family lives in another state or even a couple hours away. i am different in that way too.
my one sister and brother are both kind of into art, not that it draws people together but there is a common thread. i think more than anything it is the fact that he works at a church. they don't know what they can or can't say around him or if they'll offend simply by their lifestyles. it amazes me that how much the way i live simply is different and offensive to my family. i realize also that it is not really me but more so the holy spirit working in their lives and convicting them without me having to do much, except live a life affected by the cross. the choices i make are different and the way i live is different. i am still a part of the family and long to belong adn be friends with them.
i guess in the end it is not such a bad thing that i don't fit in just the way i want to.
Saturday, November 26
Sunday, November 20
11 gallons
11 gallons of free gasoline would be nice
11 gallons of water would be good for you over time
11 gallons of resling wine would be fabulous (of course no in one sitting)
11 gallons is a lot of any thing
11 gallons full of sauerkraut ...
... is healthy, tasty, and convenient according too the sauerkraut.com site
... is a cancer inhibitor, apparently if you eat enough on a regular basis it helps prevent cancer and is a good source of vitamins
... is helpful in preventing canker sores
... is used to treat chickens with the bird flu in seoul
... is in my basement!
yes, that is correct my father (a wonderful man) decided today to cut the 8 20lb. head of cabbage, he bought up north, to make sauerkraut. it is currently fermenting about 15 ft. from my bed. there is a wall dividing the sauerkraut and i as i sleep. the odor wafts about the house and i am surprised it is seeping out of the bricks of my house.
the good news is it will be done in just 4-5 weeks depending on the weather. if it stays between 70-75 degrees it will be finished fermenting in just 3-4 weeks and if it is between 65-55 degrees it will be 4-5 weeks.
i can tell you a few things, no one in our family or any of our friends are fearful of the bird flu any longer... sauerkraut will save us and secondly i am praying for warmer weather not just because i hate being cold but because the sauerkraut will be done faster.
11 gallons of water would be good for you over time
11 gallons of resling wine would be fabulous (of course no in one sitting)
11 gallons is a lot of any thing
11 gallons full of sauerkraut ...
... is healthy, tasty, and convenient according too the sauerkraut.com site
... is a cancer inhibitor, apparently if you eat enough on a regular basis it helps prevent cancer and is a good source of vitamins
... is helpful in preventing canker sores
... is used to treat chickens with the bird flu in seoul
... is in my basement!
yes, that is correct my father (a wonderful man) decided today to cut the 8 20lb. head of cabbage, he bought up north, to make sauerkraut. it is currently fermenting about 15 ft. from my bed. there is a wall dividing the sauerkraut and i as i sleep. the odor wafts about the house and i am surprised it is seeping out of the bricks of my house.
the good news is it will be done in just 4-5 weeks depending on the weather. if it stays between 70-75 degrees it will be finished fermenting in just 3-4 weeks and if it is between 65-55 degrees it will be 4-5 weeks.
i can tell you a few things, no one in our family or any of our friends are fearful of the bird flu any longer... sauerkraut will save us and secondly i am praying for warmer weather not just because i hate being cold but because the sauerkraut will be done faster.
learned something new today
bonsai trees...my new passion
so i went to the holiday folk fair today and who would have thought they would have bonsai trees there, but they did. it was actually a contest of sorts these trees were on display about 20 in total they ranged from 2 years to 40 years old and were the coolest plants i have ever seen. i want to grow them... he he he... christmas present hints... bonsai trees for katee.
i wanted to know how to grow them and what they are all about. so i visited some websites and found some information. they are mini trees i realzie with my lack of knowledge i am probably not labeling them correctly. i thought they were the coolest things i have seen in a long time i could have stood and looked at them all day seriously. some of the their leaves were chaning colors or falling off. one was a little forest with like 8 trees in the pot. one had roots that went over the top of a rock. incredible. some are 25 cm. tall and others grow to be as tall as one meter (3.33ft). you can plant them from seeds or from another tree, and then you prune and train the tree to grow in the desired shape. you can pinch off new growth and repot to keep it in the desired size and shape.
as i was searching for bonsai tree information i stumbled upon one site that sells bonsai trees so i checked them out, the cheapest was about $2,500 and the most expensive one was $10,000. the seed are only $4.95. what a lucrative buisness takes a long time to develop becasue these trees were older in years, but a good way to spend retirement if i start now. who cares about a 401k i got bonsai trees to sell!
check out http://www.bonsaisite.com/index.html
so i went to the holiday folk fair today and who would have thought they would have bonsai trees there, but they did. it was actually a contest of sorts these trees were on display about 20 in total they ranged from 2 years to 40 years old and were the coolest plants i have ever seen. i want to grow them... he he he... christmas present hints... bonsai trees for katee.
i wanted to know how to grow them and what they are all about. so i visited some websites and found some information. they are mini trees i realzie with my lack of knowledge i am probably not labeling them correctly. i thought they were the coolest things i have seen in a long time i could have stood and looked at them all day seriously. some of the their leaves were chaning colors or falling off. one was a little forest with like 8 trees in the pot. one had roots that went over the top of a rock. incredible. some are 25 cm. tall and others grow to be as tall as one meter (3.33ft). you can plant them from seeds or from another tree, and then you prune and train the tree to grow in the desired shape. you can pinch off new growth and repot to keep it in the desired size and shape.
as i was searching for bonsai tree information i stumbled upon one site that sells bonsai trees so i checked them out, the cheapest was about $2,500 and the most expensive one was $10,000. the seed are only $4.95. what a lucrative buisness takes a long time to develop becasue these trees were older in years, but a good way to spend retirement if i start now. who cares about a 401k i got bonsai trees to sell!
check out http://www.bonsaisite.com/index.html
Saturday, November 19
how does it happen ...
how does it happen that you can sit with 12-14 women for about an hour every week and feel like you don't know any thing about them. i have been struck lately by the thoughts of community and connectedness simply because i feel my life lacks it. it is not necessarily my fault it lacks connection but through some changes that were made in a place i belonged. i made the choice to leave so i do take responsibility but i also feel as if i stayed in this place it would not have been the same. so i chose to utilize another place to find some sort of connection, this group has a ridged schedule begin at 9:10am and end at 11:10am, in between these two hours is more scheduled time markers to begin other parts. at 10:17 the piano stops and the speaker begins. i am all for structure, but in a bible study this seems a bit odd to me. there is no room for the spirit to lead or connection to be made because the time spent together is driven by time dead lines.
i sat an wondered last week, as i sat alone in a pew waiting between the discussion time and the speaker, how many of the other 350 women attending feel the same way or do they like going here because they don't need to be open and get into the lives of others. i must stop for a moment a mention that i do know some people from the past that attend this study but have not made any new connections. it seems this way with all the women talking, they new each other before. there is no attempt to make new connections or get out of your comfort zone. i also realize as i write and rag on this organization that i have some responsibility to meet new people. i need to work on that.
jesus constantly went to different towns and places i am sure he had to meet people he didn't know. this may be a little different because he was god and knows us all already. but what if jesus in the flesh had a little anxiety about going up to the woman at the well and talking to her when he was not supposed to or telling her something she may not have wanted to hear. jesus constantly went out of his box of comfort to confront, love, and connect with all people. jesus was and is god, but he was also fully man and he can relate to all of our feelings and stresses because he has been their before. what if he wasn't obedient because he was scared? or he was restricted by someone keeping a ridged immovable schedule.
before i end i must point out that i understand why a few of these rules are in place within the organization, women like to talk and if you don't cut them off they might not stop, i know this first hand, also i do realize that there are over 100 different churches and faiths represented by the 350 women within this organization, they do not want us to get caught up in debating issues that make us stray from learning directly from scripture. i understand these rules based of these issues, it doesn't help me feel connected to the women i sit with and share things god is teaching me. it is great that we are bound by the blood of chirst despite our particular beliefs that might not be matters of first importance.
overall this bible study is good, i enjoy the teaching it helps me learn more right from scripture. i just wish it allowed for more personal connection with others. and i wish i could be as obedient as jesus in talking to others i don't know and might be risky to me!
i sat an wondered last week, as i sat alone in a pew waiting between the discussion time and the speaker, how many of the other 350 women attending feel the same way or do they like going here because they don't need to be open and get into the lives of others. i must stop for a moment a mention that i do know some people from the past that attend this study but have not made any new connections. it seems this way with all the women talking, they new each other before. there is no attempt to make new connections or get out of your comfort zone. i also realize as i write and rag on this organization that i have some responsibility to meet new people. i need to work on that.
jesus constantly went to different towns and places i am sure he had to meet people he didn't know. this may be a little different because he was god and knows us all already. but what if jesus in the flesh had a little anxiety about going up to the woman at the well and talking to her when he was not supposed to or telling her something she may not have wanted to hear. jesus constantly went out of his box of comfort to confront, love, and connect with all people. jesus was and is god, but he was also fully man and he can relate to all of our feelings and stresses because he has been their before. what if he wasn't obedient because he was scared? or he was restricted by someone keeping a ridged immovable schedule.
before i end i must point out that i understand why a few of these rules are in place within the organization, women like to talk and if you don't cut them off they might not stop, i know this first hand, also i do realize that there are over 100 different churches and faiths represented by the 350 women within this organization, they do not want us to get caught up in debating issues that make us stray from learning directly from scripture. i understand these rules based of these issues, it doesn't help me feel connected to the women i sit with and share things god is teaching me. it is great that we are bound by the blood of chirst despite our particular beliefs that might not be matters of first importance.
overall this bible study is good, i enjoy the teaching it helps me learn more right from scripture. i just wish it allowed for more personal connection with others. and i wish i could be as obedient as jesus in talking to others i don't know and might be risky to me!
Monday, November 14
a few days
okay so i have discovered that i am not that good at this. i can't find things too write about. there doesn't seem to be much floating around in my head these days to post about. i worked this morning at 5am it was okay then i came home and slept from 1:30 - 4:15pm which was way too long i didn't end up getting anything done and as i say that i sit here and write nothing on my blog. the irony of it all. i guess i am trying to get used to it maybe this will never be for me but i would never know that if i didn't give it a try right?
i have to go to class now...that is good i am sure i will have something to rant about after class this class always seems to set a fire under me about some issue because people in the class feel that there is so much injustice in the world and we are all out to make life so hard for the minorities. which i think is complete crap, i am not going to stand here and say that minorities have it easy or anything like that but not everyone is out to get you or cheat you. making change in a community and society is very difficult to do and when you stand and say poor me poor me nothing is going to change in that sense.
my prof. for this class is horrendous. i am glad for class evaluations this semester. he canceled class three weeks ago and didn't email or any thing so we all showed up to find out we didn't have to be there and we had a major paper due. i won't complain about the paper because it gave us an extra week to revise it (which i barely did). the following week in class he doesn't say anything about missing class the week prior not apology or anything. i don't need to know specifics but give me a break.
look at the i am heated up already and i haven't even been to class... 34 days 'till graduation and only 4 monre weeks of class! oh i can't wait ... oh i am so nervous about finding a job and life after structure for 20 odd years of my life!
i have to go to class now...that is good i am sure i will have something to rant about after class this class always seems to set a fire under me about some issue because people in the class feel that there is so much injustice in the world and we are all out to make life so hard for the minorities. which i think is complete crap, i am not going to stand here and say that minorities have it easy or anything like that but not everyone is out to get you or cheat you. making change in a community and society is very difficult to do and when you stand and say poor me poor me nothing is going to change in that sense.
my prof. for this class is horrendous. i am glad for class evaluations this semester. he canceled class three weeks ago and didn't email or any thing so we all showed up to find out we didn't have to be there and we had a major paper due. i won't complain about the paper because it gave us an extra week to revise it (which i barely did). the following week in class he doesn't say anything about missing class the week prior not apology or anything. i don't need to know specifics but give me a break.
look at the i am heated up already and i haven't even been to class... 34 days 'till graduation and only 4 monre weeks of class! oh i can't wait ... oh i am so nervous about finding a job and life after structure for 20 odd years of my life!
Saturday, November 12
playing around...
so i am jsut playng around trying ot upload pic's but this one is fun anyway. this is from when my friend jeffe' came to town and we took him to the harley plant on his birthday and then took a tour of miller... it was a great day.
Friday, November 11
Joining the club
i can't believe i have joined the club. this is very unlike me and yet i feel this natural call to write down my feelings and thoughts and let people read them. i can't say why i feel so compelled to join the club of bloggers. maybe it is the sense of community and connectedness i felt as i stumbled upon a distant friends blog and was immediately connected to other distant friends blogs.
i am curious at this sense of connectedness over an electronic impersonal machine. it seems wierd to me that something so impersonal can bring about a feel of connectedness. i know we all long for connection with others but who would have ever thought it would come over machine and not through being intimately connected with others through social tangible interaction.
i just spell check my entry and it did not recognize the words blogger or blog how interesting something so intelligent and able to give people a sense of connectedness can not even recognize it's own name. makes me wonder again why i am doing this...
i am curious at this sense of connectedness over an electronic impersonal machine. it seems wierd to me that something so impersonal can bring about a feel of connectedness. i know we all long for connection with others but who would have ever thought it would come over machine and not through being intimately connected with others through social tangible interaction.
i just spell check my entry and it did not recognize the words blogger or blog how interesting something so intelligent and able to give people a sense of connectedness can not even recognize it's own name. makes me wonder again why i am doing this...
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