Affirmation

Most days I wake up and I can't believe that I am so blessed to get to do what I do. Most people have to take off work or rearrange schedules to get to serve in the inner city, yet God has called me to this place for what the world sees as a 'job', how I make my living. But this gets to be my lifestyle. I just can't fathom it. Why me? I look at some stupid things I do, my sin and I compare myself to other people and think my faith is not even close to where it should be. But where exactly is that? I am comparing it to a friend, co-worker, or maybe some one I admire, these people are not the ones I should be comparing myself to. I can only ask one person one question, God. He always smiles down and says, "Sweet Daughter, you are right where I want you," or "Beloved, you are on the right track." These are things he has shared with me in my moments of question and disbelief.

Some of these moments of doubts comes with the close of the summer. My job falls more on my shoulders, I begin to really direct its steps with the guidance of the Lord. I have been scared. It requires so much more vulnerability on my part. Putting myself out there trying to connect with women in the community, by doing home visits. These make me nervous because I will go door to door with some of the women whom I have made relationships with this past summer. God will provided all that I need but in preparation I think of conversation starters and planning the conversation. I worry and am distracted over the little things. I know that it will be as rewarding as the summer.

God has been encouraging my heart in other ways as well. Our last event for the summer and in some ways first big event for the community was a huge success because God showed up. He brought the people he wanted there. We held an event in conjunction with the Starving Jesus tour. In the afternoon we had a picnic lunch and games for the wRap Kidz. This was awesome. The kids had not seen many of us in about two weeks, so let's say they were pumped! It was incredible to see them come running in looking for their favorite intern or staff member. The hugs were tight and long last Tuesday. The kids had a blast. We had a break and a transition time to get ready for a coffee house in the evening for young adults. Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon came for the evening part and spoke about not being chained to a pew and getting out into the community. God used this message to convict some and for us as staff He strongly encouraged our hearts by showing us we weren't alone. These guys are doing a 40 city tour sharing this message. We had a coffee house then were people could meander around to 3 different rooms for prayer, worship or fellowship. People stayed and hung out and really fellowshiped. It was awesome to see. We had about 60 - 70 young adults there. The building was being used for what God wanted to do that night. It was great people have commented on how strong the spirit was in that building. When you work in a place everyday or you get used to that feeling you forget. I have prayed that I would still notice that feeling.

In preparation for the event Mark had been planning for months and I joined him full force about a week prior to the event. We worked hard, it was crazy how many details kept coming up. Both of us have worked in a church before. I volunteered in a position and I didn't need much help because I didn't have many kids but I still know what it is like to put events on alone. Mark on the other hand has done many many events set-up and tear down alone. He has done some big events that way. He hates it. Last Monday that day before the event we had gotten 90% of the things we needed to decorate and such to the Lazarus House. I and another staff member had called our staff from the summer and they came with a few others on Monday for 4 hours and in the morning on Tuesday to set-up. It was amazing Mark was so blessed and blown away because he could actually run last minuet errands while we were setting up and he didn't have to do it all alone. We transformed the Lazarus House, it was awesome. The Lazarus House is a 1851 mansion with a 1912 addition and we are restoring it to the original time period. So, needless to say that process is timely and expensive. But the Lord is providing in that and is making it into a building that is beautiful in a neighbor that needs it. It is not near finished but it is functional and God helped us make it into a wonderful space for Tuesday.

It was a day of encouragement in from the planning to the clean-up.

(I know this blog is sort of all over the place, sorry)