dawn and dusk
fire places
getting to know people
mountains
when i get to see the street lights go on or off
vast bodies of water
Wednesday, February 22
Sunday, February 19
heading the challenge
here it is it took a little bit but it was fun!
100 things i love from a to z...
asparagus
apprentice
brazil
bean bag chairs
being home alone
being surprised
blue cheese
blue like jazz
bubble bath
burt's bees
camp
cards
clean things
clearance racks
chocolate
coffee
community
cuddling
culture
discounts
diversity
dominos
down comforters
eating with people
extreme home make over
extreme home make over
family dinners
flying in airplanes
francine rivers
fresca
games
gap
glitter
growing
holidays
hospitality
history
humility
hwy 171 to vcbc
icy hot
ikea
ireland
jam on toast
Jesus Christ
junior high kids
keeping secrets
laptops
languages
laughter
learning
lotion
mark
moving forward
music
musicals
my nephew
new hair cut
night quill
obedience
order
oxygen
passion
people watching
pictures
pompom pals
prayer
puzzles
quotes
realness
rent
risks
saving money
scented candles
scrapbooking
showering
serving
sleeping
snow pants
sociology
steak
sudoku
sunlight
target
thai food
the pope
teaching
time with friends
traveling
touch lamps
tulips
universe
unity
warm bed
warm sandwiches
water
west wing
wicked
wine
wise counsel
zig zag parts
Thursday, February 16
snow...
so today i shoveled partly because my dad shouldn't be shoveling with his back, age and other conditions. especially not when he still has young blood living in the house. so i shoveled.
i guess it wasn't all because i didn't want my dad to hurt himself although this is true, i wanted to wear my snow pants.
i love my snow pants. i am not sure why other than the fact that when i wear them i feel minorly like a super hero, indestructible. for instance if someone were to see my shoveling and the fresh snow and want to push me over or tackle me while in my snow pants, i would be ok with that.
i have been in the house getting warm for the past twenty minutes and i still have me snow pants on because they are so comfortable also.
i guess it wasn't all because i didn't want my dad to hurt himself although this is true, i wanted to wear my snow pants.
i love my snow pants. i am not sure why other than the fact that when i wear them i feel minorly like a super hero, indestructible. for instance if someone were to see my shoveling and the fresh snow and want to push me over or tackle me while in my snow pants, i would be ok with that.
i have been in the house getting warm for the past twenty minutes and i still have me snow pants on because they are so comfortable also.
if you have seen me in action with my snow pants on, you understand it brings a smile to my face and a freedom in my movement.
sleding anyone... winter capture the flag wiht jr. high kids... broom ball...
snow pant woman.
Tuesday, February 7
End of the Spear
i went to go and see the movie End of the Spear. i am not really big on seeing movies in theaters for a variety of reasons, but i went to see this one. i went this evening with some people from my small group. it is a great movie. i will not rant and rave because i am sure someone out there has seen and things differently than i.
this movie was not highly advertised and unfortunately will probably only have a few more days in theaters before it moves to budget or out all together. it is about the miss to ecuador who were killed, jim elliot being one of them and their wives who went back to the tribe later and reached the people. this movie is highly thought provoking and emotional. it is one of those movies you might need to see again just to process.
some thoughts i walked away with are ...
...do i love christ enough to die for him?
...could i love someone who hurt me badly?
...who do i have a hard time trusting?
...what wrongs do i want to avenge?
...missions, millions of people have not heard the good news yet.
...i know i am ready for heaven but who in my life is not?
...where would i go for christ?
...obedience is hard!
...obedience is worth it, for the glory of God!
i would recommend seeing this movie either in it's last days in the theater or getting it on dvd/video when it comes out. it would be a great teaching lesson for youth, has amazing lessons and passion.
check it out at: www.endofthespear.com
this movie was not highly advertised and unfortunately will probably only have a few more days in theaters before it moves to budget or out all together. it is about the miss to ecuador who were killed, jim elliot being one of them and their wives who went back to the tribe later and reached the people. this movie is highly thought provoking and emotional. it is one of those movies you might need to see again just to process.
some thoughts i walked away with are ...
...do i love christ enough to die for him?
...could i love someone who hurt me badly?
...who do i have a hard time trusting?
...what wrongs do i want to avenge?
...missions, millions of people have not heard the good news yet.
...i know i am ready for heaven but who in my life is not?
...where would i go for christ?
...obedience is hard!
...obedience is worth it, for the glory of God!
i would recommend seeing this movie either in it's last days in the theater or getting it on dvd/video when it comes out. it would be a great teaching lesson for youth, has amazing lessons and passion.
check it out at: www.endofthespear.com
blurp
well, here is a short blurp...
this week is going better, not as rough as the one before or the one before that. i am working hard to take my thoughts captive and makes some moves forward in my life.
i am makes steps, i wouldn't say strides just yet, because a few of them are simply baby steps. but they are steps none the less.
my anxiety still gets the best of me at times but taking things moment by moment not thinking to far in the future helps. when the future is so unknown why go there right now.
meeting with friends who tell you that you are normal and still the same person deep down. when you feel as if you can't figure out who you are or which end is up... settles the heart ever so much!
this week is going better, not as rough as the one before or the one before that. i am working hard to take my thoughts captive and makes some moves forward in my life.
i am makes steps, i wouldn't say strides just yet, because a few of them are simply baby steps. but they are steps none the less.
my anxiety still gets the best of me at times but taking things moment by moment not thinking to far in the future helps. when the future is so unknown why go there right now.
meeting with friends who tell you that you are normal and still the same person deep down. when you feel as if you can't figure out who you are or which end is up... settles the heart ever so much!
Wednesday, February 1
soaking
so lately i have enjoyed soaking in the warm water of a bath with lots of bubbles. i just find that completely relaxing, the water splashing lightly on my sudoku puzzle book. ahhh... sweet peace.
the peace i have found more relaxing and lasting than a warm bubble bath is soaking in the word of God. i have had some sweet time lately. i have felt close too my heavenly father. last week was really rough and this week is better but still hard. not that my relationship with Christ is based on how i feel but the tingle you get when you hear him speak after a long time of silence (which may or may not have been his choice). in my case so much was blocking him.
my thoughts run like a freight train changing in an instant, some are quick and other drag on and haunt me. in the midst of the deception i do not even realize what is happening, i know something is wrong but i can't snap out of it. i am getting better at taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. often my thoughts are self destructive and contain a very twisted version of truth. oh, how i get deceived so quickly.
on sunday, we talked in church on healing physically, spiritually and emotionally. it was a morning i did not even feel like getting out of bed. my covers were comfortable and i emotionally did not not feel like facing the day. i got up and got ready for church and spent sweet time in the car with my savior. the teaching i felt was for me, i held in the tears until he finished, he dismissed us and said if there were people who needed physical healing to come up to the sides and for spiritually healing to come on stage and for emotional healing to come down center. my body was paralyzed i couldn't get up but oh i wanted to, instead with my head in my hands i cried out to God. i can't do this anymore. you are the only one who can help me get better, sleeping more doesn't help, crying does not help, mark and ec can't fix me...but lord you can.
i want to get out of this funk. it is not fun but looking at where i am i realize that it is natural for me to be here. this doesn't give me permission to stay here but it is understandable after the past 7 months. loss of a family who was so dear to me, a summer of serving on less than empty, and graduating from college with nothing lined up. there is much in the air. my heart is healing and curious as to the next step.
when i come to the presence of the Lord i come into holiness, it can be nothing else. my faith can make me whole again. in these moments of weakness i am realizing i am not as strong as i think but Christ is strong. through grace alone can i fight my past and thoughts. when i hid in fear and stay where i am not called to be i dishonor God.
i know he is calling me to be whole again and i must make steps to get there in his grace.
the peace i have found more relaxing and lasting than a warm bubble bath is soaking in the word of God. i have had some sweet time lately. i have felt close too my heavenly father. last week was really rough and this week is better but still hard. not that my relationship with Christ is based on how i feel but the tingle you get when you hear him speak after a long time of silence (which may or may not have been his choice). in my case so much was blocking him.
my thoughts run like a freight train changing in an instant, some are quick and other drag on and haunt me. in the midst of the deception i do not even realize what is happening, i know something is wrong but i can't snap out of it. i am getting better at taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. often my thoughts are self destructive and contain a very twisted version of truth. oh, how i get deceived so quickly.
on sunday, we talked in church on healing physically, spiritually and emotionally. it was a morning i did not even feel like getting out of bed. my covers were comfortable and i emotionally did not not feel like facing the day. i got up and got ready for church and spent sweet time in the car with my savior. the teaching i felt was for me, i held in the tears until he finished, he dismissed us and said if there were people who needed physical healing to come up to the sides and for spiritually healing to come on stage and for emotional healing to come down center. my body was paralyzed i couldn't get up but oh i wanted to, instead with my head in my hands i cried out to God. i can't do this anymore. you are the only one who can help me get better, sleeping more doesn't help, crying does not help, mark and ec can't fix me...but lord you can.
i want to get out of this funk. it is not fun but looking at where i am i realize that it is natural for me to be here. this doesn't give me permission to stay here but it is understandable after the past 7 months. loss of a family who was so dear to me, a summer of serving on less than empty, and graduating from college with nothing lined up. there is much in the air. my heart is healing and curious as to the next step.
when i come to the presence of the Lord i come into holiness, it can be nothing else. my faith can make me whole again. in these moments of weakness i am realizing i am not as strong as i think but Christ is strong. through grace alone can i fight my past and thoughts. when i hid in fear and stay where i am not called to be i dishonor God.
i know he is calling me to be whole again and i must make steps to get there in his grace.
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