So I am sick. I simply have a cold nothing big but it is annoying. I have been finally blowing my nose for about the last 16 hours. Don't get me wrong I am grateful that I am able to blow my nose and it isn't all stuffed up. But seriously I can not believe how much snot keeps coming out blow after blow. I know this is gross but I am just wondering where it all comes from.
Tuesday, March 13
Monday, February 26
must see
Amazing Grace: The Movie - The Official Movie Website
I never do movie plugs but this is a must see by all of you! It is very well done and the story is passionate and moving. It leaves you with the thought that you can make a difference and it may not be easy but we all hold the ablitiy to do it.
It is so moving so take some time and go see this movie.
Sunday, February 25
That you MY KING would die for me!
I can't seem to keep up with life via my blog. It seems days go by and by but none go past without thinking ooh that would be a good blog. I have so many good entries in my head that never make it to this space. You may be glad that you don't have to read all of my thoughts.
I have been reminded lately through so many different places of how my relationship with God began and who was there and the moments in the beginning. Oh I am so grateful for those people who helped answer so many questions and simply encourage me along the way. I was in a class and we were talking about forgiveness and remembering the gratitude when you realize your sinfulness and truly how much Christ took upon the cross for us. I recalled the first moment I felt this surge of gratitude, we were on a winter retreat in a cabin in northern WI. We simply were hanging out with each other, there were probably 25 of us not too many and one night we had a time of worship, we sang Amazing Love. Some of the lyrics are as follows: Amazing love how can it be that you my king would die for me. This was the line that caught me and brought me to a place of gratitude for Christ death on the cross to forgive my sins. 'That you MY KING would die for me'. I remember at the end of the song blurting something out to everyone wanting them to experience the rush of emotion I was feeling and the grace that was falling down like rain upon me.
As, we are in this season of Lent I am looking forward to celebrating the death and Resurrection of my King once again this year. The newness that I feel each and every day because of his obedience to the Father. I know that I personally take so many things for granted my relationship with God is so easy to take for granted because of my selfishness. I often fail to feel the gratitude of being forgiven so much because I fail to see the depth of my sin. I know so often I walk around as if life is grand without a care in the world because I am a Christian and I give off this air that things are all in place because I am in a relationship with God. This is not an intentional thing I do but getting so comfy cozy with my life and how I have been blessed I don't think about how truly sinful I am. I have been reading in Leviticus (part of reading the Bible in a year) about all the offerings God required and when they must be offered to atone for different sins. There are offerings and God starts out says, "When a person sins UN-intentionally by straying from any of the commands of God, breaking that which must not be broken...when they realize it and become guilty(convicted) even though no one is aware... they should do X,Y, and Z with the priest to make atonement for their sin." Most of the time the sacrifice required an animal and then a whole sacrificial offering afterwards. My thoughts when reading this was I would have no animals left or time to take care of them because I would constantly be in the Altar making sacrifice to atone for my sins. I once again was filled with gratitude for the sacrifice Christ gave on the cross and the shed blood of a perfect Lamb of God for all of my sins. This Lent, I have been intentionally setting time aside to seek Him and once again be brought back to the depth of my unholiness apart from Christ in order to rejoice with gratitude and joy that My King would chose to save my from my sin and then use me in others lives. What a blessing to be used by him. I don't want to wallow in the gravity of my sin because I am made holy by God but we wash over this truth so often in the church because it is hard to live with a good balance of understanding the depth of our sinfulness and the unending grace God lavishes upon us time after time after time!
I have been reminded lately through so many different places of how my relationship with God began and who was there and the moments in the beginning. Oh I am so grateful for those people who helped answer so many questions and simply encourage me along the way. I was in a class and we were talking about forgiveness and remembering the gratitude when you realize your sinfulness and truly how much Christ took upon the cross for us. I recalled the first moment I felt this surge of gratitude, we were on a winter retreat in a cabin in northern WI. We simply were hanging out with each other, there were probably 25 of us not too many and one night we had a time of worship, we sang Amazing Love. Some of the lyrics are as follows: Amazing love how can it be that you my king would die for me. This was the line that caught me and brought me to a place of gratitude for Christ death on the cross to forgive my sins. 'That you MY KING would die for me'. I remember at the end of the song blurting something out to everyone wanting them to experience the rush of emotion I was feeling and the grace that was falling down like rain upon me.
As, we are in this season of Lent I am looking forward to celebrating the death and Resurrection of my King once again this year. The newness that I feel each and every day because of his obedience to the Father. I know that I personally take so many things for granted my relationship with God is so easy to take for granted because of my selfishness. I often fail to feel the gratitude of being forgiven so much because I fail to see the depth of my sin. I know so often I walk around as if life is grand without a care in the world because I am a Christian and I give off this air that things are all in place because I am in a relationship with God. This is not an intentional thing I do but getting so comfy cozy with my life and how I have been blessed I don't think about how truly sinful I am. I have been reading in Leviticus (part of reading the Bible in a year) about all the offerings God required and when they must be offered to atone for different sins. There are offerings and God starts out says, "When a person sins UN-intentionally by straying from any of the commands of God, breaking that which must not be broken...when they realize it and become guilty(convicted) even though no one is aware... they should do X,Y, and Z with the priest to make atonement for their sin." Most of the time the sacrifice required an animal and then a whole sacrificial offering afterwards. My thoughts when reading this was I would have no animals left or time to take care of them because I would constantly be in the Altar making sacrifice to atone for my sins. I once again was filled with gratitude for the sacrifice Christ gave on the cross and the shed blood of a perfect Lamb of God for all of my sins. This Lent, I have been intentionally setting time aside to seek Him and once again be brought back to the depth of my unholiness apart from Christ in order to rejoice with gratitude and joy that My King would chose to save my from my sin and then use me in others lives. What a blessing to be used by him. I don't want to wallow in the gravity of my sin because I am made holy by God but we wash over this truth so often in the church because it is hard to live with a good balance of understanding the depth of our sinfulness and the unending grace God lavishes upon us time after time after time!
Saturday, January 20
Again
Well this is something 2 posts in less than 24 hours. I have just added some links on the sidebar fro the Lazarus House. One is for our myspace account, you don't need to have an account to view the events or pictures (i don't think) but you do to comment. We use this site to keep in contact with our interns who served during the summer to keep them connected to events going on.
Our offical site is under consturction we are working on it to be up with information on it in early Feb. Many of you have asked about getting more information and such so in time it will be at your finger tips.
Also just a tidbit of thought. I continue to go to BSF where we sing hymn each week. As I grow to understand the words and pay more attention to them I love hymns more and more. I love praise music of all kinds and I am growing in deeper affection for the words of these hymns as they hold so many truths. Below is one that struck me this week.
How Firm a Foundation
Our offical site is under consturction we are working on it to be up with information on it in early Feb. Many of you have asked about getting more information and such so in time it will be at your finger tips.
Also just a tidbit of thought. I continue to go to BSF where we sing hymn each week. As I grow to understand the words and pay more attention to them I love hymns more and more. I love praise music of all kinds and I am growing in deeper affection for the words of these hymns as they hold so many truths. Below is one that struck me this week.
How Firm a Foundation
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?
In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.
Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.
The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.
Friday, January 19
forgive me
Oh my word I am horrible. I was doing pretty good it was about every week with a blog and there have been many blogs I have thought to write but they never get on here. There have been some changes in my Internet access so I haven't been able to be on as frequently as usual. And to top things off ministry has been so busy since my last post.
Now that you know all my excuses I will continue. I don't have a specific blog right now, sorry to disappoint. But God has done some amazing things in the last month and a half. Last time I posted was simply the beginning of the out pour of God's provision for the ministry. From the 6th of Dec. to the 31st we received as a ministry $22,000+ from 24 different donors. December is usually big but not this big. We had been in the middle of praying to see God work as some people were starting to worry because we had a few bills piling up and work to be done on the building. God showed up and then some. It is just incredible to see him work. On the 3rd of Dec. we went at a staff to the prayer hut at Cedarly Pastors retreat and prayer together for a whole morning and into the afternoon. It was so affirming to to the Lord's hand after we committed as a staff to continue to walk by faith in all that we do. Not that we had last faith but it was tough with people on every side trying to fix our 'problems' and Gods tardiness in there eyes.
We have begun planning for the summer already which is so exciting to think about I can't wait for it to be here. Some prayer things for that: wisdom for the locations we are to be doing wRap Kidz at as we feel they may change this year, for interns who are committed to the kids and ready to grow with the Lord, for wisdom in structural changes we feel we need to make, for a possible new middle school program, leadership for other discipleship ministry for young men, and for us to continue to have the faith to step out on new things God has for us!
We are working on our website which is wonderfully exciting, please pray that we would get it done in the steps we have laid out with the information and structure that will be honoring to the Lord and his work here.
Overall things are kind of finally in a lull. Since Thanksgiving there had been much to do with things that were donated which needed to be delivered. We had a wonderful turnout of new families who came and passed out the Wish List Christmas presents right before Christmas. It was an awesome day. Then I left to go to Mark's parents at 5am on Christmas day after we did Christmas with my family on Christmas eve. We were there until the 29th and we came home and had a pre-new years eve party with friends on the 30th as we would be gone for New Years eve. We left on the 31st in the morning to take students to Passion in Atlanta, GA. We arrived home from that on the 6th and we had a busy week back with stuff at work. We did a movie night last week and then had a board meeting, and groups come in to deliver sleeping bags and a coffee house on Saturday. So needless to say we have been busy.
Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I am hoping to be better at updating this now.
Now that you know all my excuses I will continue. I don't have a specific blog right now, sorry to disappoint. But God has done some amazing things in the last month and a half. Last time I posted was simply the beginning of the out pour of God's provision for the ministry. From the 6th of Dec. to the 31st we received as a ministry $22,000+ from 24 different donors. December is usually big but not this big. We had been in the middle of praying to see God work as some people were starting to worry because we had a few bills piling up and work to be done on the building. God showed up and then some. It is just incredible to see him work. On the 3rd of Dec. we went at a staff to the prayer hut at Cedarly Pastors retreat and prayer together for a whole morning and into the afternoon. It was so affirming to to the Lord's hand after we committed as a staff to continue to walk by faith in all that we do. Not that we had last faith but it was tough with people on every side trying to fix our 'problems' and Gods tardiness in there eyes.
We have begun planning for the summer already which is so exciting to think about I can't wait for it to be here. Some prayer things for that: wisdom for the locations we are to be doing wRap Kidz at as we feel they may change this year, for interns who are committed to the kids and ready to grow with the Lord, for wisdom in structural changes we feel we need to make, for a possible new middle school program, leadership for other discipleship ministry for young men, and for us to continue to have the faith to step out on new things God has for us!
We are working on our website which is wonderfully exciting, please pray that we would get it done in the steps we have laid out with the information and structure that will be honoring to the Lord and his work here.
Overall things are kind of finally in a lull. Since Thanksgiving there had been much to do with things that were donated which needed to be delivered. We had a wonderful turnout of new families who came and passed out the Wish List Christmas presents right before Christmas. It was an awesome day. Then I left to go to Mark's parents at 5am on Christmas day after we did Christmas with my family on Christmas eve. We were there until the 29th and we came home and had a pre-new years eve party with friends on the 30th as we would be gone for New Years eve. We left on the 31st in the morning to take students to Passion in Atlanta, GA. We arrived home from that on the 6th and we had a busy week back with stuff at work. We did a movie night last week and then had a board meeting, and groups come in to deliver sleeping bags and a coffee house on Saturday. So needless to say we have been busy.
Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I am hoping to be better at updating this now.
Thursday, December 7
Praise God
I realize that what I am doing is different. This is not the first time I am making this statement. As I share my lifestyle, job and faith with people I always hope that the response will be different, that people will understand. I know that my lifestyle goes against the culture we are brought up as apart of in America. Mostly from Christians I hope that they will understand what I am doing and embrace it. I know I can’t expect that though. Don’t get me wrong there are people in my life that embrace what I am doing other than the people I work with. This has come up because just in the last few days as I have shared I have had more people try to fix my life. Try telling me what I should do to fix my financial situation and how I could be living ‘better’. Better always equals having a steadier, more consistent financial situation. I realize that I am part of this conversation also and I have a reasonability to share the ways God has provided and has been so faithful. Sometimes this doesn’t even work but I know I must be sharing in the miracles that God is doing. So let me share lest you think that my life is not as it should be…
About two months ago I received in the mail this flier for Curves for Women. It was a promotion to come in for 9 workouts over 3 weeks for 30 minuets each. Back about 8 months ago God told me that I needed to workout. I had tried a few things and nothing was working. I don’t think that I need to lose a lot of weight but more just be healthier. So, I signed up for this promotion, I really enjoyed it. Because I participated in promo my joining fee went from $159 to $29. Felt that God was opening the door for this because I went in the first place. I don’t normally do promo things. I lost about 4 lbs. over the three weeks. I was able to out on some pants that I hadn’t worn in awhile. One of my friends noticed and we began talking about Curves and she asked about the monthly rate and joining fee and how I was liking it. The following day was a hard day with family and she called to leave a message telling me she and another friend wanted to take me out to dinner and also that she wanted to pay for the year membership at Curves for me! Praise God. So I have been working out, I still really enjoy it and I feel better about myself. It is wonderful.
Another friend of mine also wanted to pay for my year membership, I shared with her that someone else already did it. She said well I know I am supposed to do something. A few days later she came back and told me she was going to pay for December rent.
This past Friday we were at our Directors house having dinner after shoveling and snow blowing the Lazarus House and their house. A funny noise was coming from the basement. Ron went down stairs and there was water all over, the water heater blew. They simply said, “God knew and has it covered.” Sunday evening friends were over and Ron joked about the water heater. As they were leaving the man asked what the deal was with the water heater. Ron shared and without hesitation the man said, “Go to Sears tomorrow and get the best they have and have them install it, bill me.” On Tuesday a brand new state of the art water heater was reinstalled into their house.
The ministry has been tight money wise, to the point of not being able to pay bills. Our board was starting to get worried. Yesterday we received $2800 for bills and current needs. Earlier in the week we received $240 also for bills and ministry needs. In a few days God provided for all the bills and then some!
This week someone also wrote me and shared they would be supporting me on a monthly basis. It was a letter out of the blue and ever so encouraging.
God doesn’t only provide financially!
God has provided about 100 people to adopt kids to buy them Christmas presents. Almost all the families were home to share this news with them. It was so encouraging to the families. We will have a Christmas party this Saturday to collect the lists and share the Christmas story with these kids and hopefully parents.
We are receiving Christmas dinners for some of our families.
Aside form the Wish Lists for kids we are also getting about 100 shoe boxes full of personal need items and a few presents.
One family we delivered a turkey to them at Thanksgiving. Over the summer a member of the family had a heart attack and then was recently laid off from work. As a family they made a decision to not celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. They purchased a few presents and that was it. So, when we brought the turkey, it was a big deal they were so grateful. She shared the story and we found out that they weren’t going to have a Christmas tree either. We know someone who collects older artificial trees, ornaments, and lights. We called her and shared the need, on Tuesday she came and together some staff and she delivered it to this family. It was an amazing moment with the family! We plan to take one of the Christmas dinners to this family also.
God has been is so good.
Yet he (Abraham) did not waiver in unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith being fully persuaded that God will do what He had promised!
Rom 4:20-21
About two months ago I received in the mail this flier for Curves for Women. It was a promotion to come in for 9 workouts over 3 weeks for 30 minuets each. Back about 8 months ago God told me that I needed to workout. I had tried a few things and nothing was working. I don’t think that I need to lose a lot of weight but more just be healthier. So, I signed up for this promotion, I really enjoyed it. Because I participated in promo my joining fee went from $159 to $29. Felt that God was opening the door for this because I went in the first place. I don’t normally do promo things. I lost about 4 lbs. over the three weeks. I was able to out on some pants that I hadn’t worn in awhile. One of my friends noticed and we began talking about Curves and she asked about the monthly rate and joining fee and how I was liking it. The following day was a hard day with family and she called to leave a message telling me she and another friend wanted to take me out to dinner and also that she wanted to pay for the year membership at Curves for me! Praise God. So I have been working out, I still really enjoy it and I feel better about myself. It is wonderful.
Another friend of mine also wanted to pay for my year membership, I shared with her that someone else already did it. She said well I know I am supposed to do something. A few days later she came back and told me she was going to pay for December rent.
This past Friday we were at our Directors house having dinner after shoveling and snow blowing the Lazarus House and their house. A funny noise was coming from the basement. Ron went down stairs and there was water all over, the water heater blew. They simply said, “God knew and has it covered.” Sunday evening friends were over and Ron joked about the water heater. As they were leaving the man asked what the deal was with the water heater. Ron shared and without hesitation the man said, “Go to Sears tomorrow and get the best they have and have them install it, bill me.” On Tuesday a brand new state of the art water heater was reinstalled into their house.
The ministry has been tight money wise, to the point of not being able to pay bills. Our board was starting to get worried. Yesterday we received $2800 for bills and current needs. Earlier in the week we received $240 also for bills and ministry needs. In a few days God provided for all the bills and then some!
This week someone also wrote me and shared they would be supporting me on a monthly basis. It was a letter out of the blue and ever so encouraging.
God doesn’t only provide financially!
God has provided about 100 people to adopt kids to buy them Christmas presents. Almost all the families were home to share this news with them. It was so encouraging to the families. We will have a Christmas party this Saturday to collect the lists and share the Christmas story with these kids and hopefully parents.
We are receiving Christmas dinners for some of our families.
Aside form the Wish Lists for kids we are also getting about 100 shoe boxes full of personal need items and a few presents.
One family we delivered a turkey to them at Thanksgiving. Over the summer a member of the family had a heart attack and then was recently laid off from work. As a family they made a decision to not celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. They purchased a few presents and that was it. So, when we brought the turkey, it was a big deal they were so grateful. She shared the story and we found out that they weren’t going to have a Christmas tree either. We know someone who collects older artificial trees, ornaments, and lights. We called her and shared the need, on Tuesday she came and together some staff and she delivered it to this family. It was an amazing moment with the family! We plan to take one of the Christmas dinners to this family also.
God has been is so good.
Yet he (Abraham) did not waiver in unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith being fully persuaded that God will do what He had promised!
Rom 4:20-21
Tuesday, November 28
learning
I have been neglecting this blog space. I am sorry for those of you who look here regularly to see how to pray and know what is doing in my life. I mist admit that life has been hard lately and I have not been living as if God is as big as He is. There have been many many blessings despite my unbelief. It is not that I have walked away from God or anything. It is just that I am allowing my circumstances to affect me too much. When it seems like a never ending sea of hurt around me and things happen not as I want them too, I get down and I lose my joy. I want to be gracious in the midst of tough circumstances and not let m emotions get so out of control. I know that it is okay to have emotions but the emotion that comes out most is anger or frustration that things are not going as planned or God is not coming through like I want him too. I know that all these things are in my life to make me more like Christ in the end. I am trying to be more like Paul in Philippians. I know it is an over used scripture.
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:11-13
I have used this scripture much and I have been annoyed when it is taken out of context but it is the cry of my heart these days when so much is going on in life and it seems overwhelming and we want to fix things or see people not hurt anymore or truly rest in the knowledge of who God is and how big He is. I want also be like Abraham who had so much faith in God and His promises that His life showed it.
“Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” Rom 4:20-21
I want to be the type of person who in the midst of trials and hard moment’s people to see joy and faith in my life, not anger and sadness because things aren’t going my way. I want my faith in the promises of God to be the circumstance of life that my emotions follow.
PSALM 145
I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.
Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
The LORD is gracious and compassionate;
slow to anger and rich in love.
The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might, so that all men may know
of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.
Monday, November 6
breaking point
I am not sure how to start this post. I am coming to a breaking point. Life has been up and down lately. God has been teaching me so many things. Most of all He has been breaking me of the pride within myself. I grew up thinking that I could take care of myself, I could provide for myself, I could take care of myself and it’s all about me. I am so wrong in so many ways in this thinking. Growing up in a bigger family you fend for yourself some times because there are multiple people who need attention and care.
God has been working on me and the notion that I can do it by myself. He has brought me to a place where He has called me to fully rely on Him for all my needs, financial, emotional, and spiritually; to walk by faith. He calls us all to do that in different ways. I am sure some of you could point out other areas of pride in me but God is specifically working on this area right now.
I have been given many gifts in the past 5 months from many different people. I am so grateful for all the gifts given to me. It is nice to get gifts but when they come all the time and when they are your means of life it gets to be overwhelming, you being to feel like charity. This lilifestyles not easy but it is helping me learn to fully accept God’s grace. I remember reading in Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller about Grace: The Beggar’s Kingdom.
“It seemed wrong for me not to have to pay for my sin, not to feel guilty about it or kick myself around. More than that, grace did not seem like the thing I was looking for. It was too easy. I wanted to feel as though I earned my forgiveness, as though God and I were buddies doing favors for each other.” He continues on to tell a story about encountering a woman in a store using food stamps to pay for her food. He had thoughts of how she was feeling and how he viewed people in ‘need’. He came to the conclusion that, “I love giving to charity, but I don’t want to be charity. This is why I have so much trouble with grace.”
As I walk by faith it is not that I expect people to come along side me and give gifts or money to me. Asking for help is very hard, and humbling to say the least. God has been showing me his grace in more ways then by simply forgiving my sins but by bringing me to a point where I can’t do anything apart from his love, grace and provision. I have always been able to work for my wages and in my relationship with God I can not work to earn His love and grace because I already have it. I know that Miller was talking about sin but I think many of us can relate to these thoughts of being forgiven of your sins, but what if God’s grace seeped into other parts of your life besides your sin? God's grace is already there but what if we began to live like His grace wasn't just covering our sin but covering US.
I feel like these truths are natural for the normal Christian and I feel odd writing about it but I know that I am being broken and experiencing His grace and love on a new level today.
Wednesday, November 1
amazed
Last weekend, Thursday 'till Saturday we had 2 different youth groups in. The time we shared was amazing. We had more kids than we could have hoped for. It was a really good two days of wRap Kidz. We had 65ish on Thursday in the rain showers and 50ish on Friday in the cold. Friday morning we gave 20 different enough hats and gloves for everyone and a bundle of books. It was fun to see the kids wearing their new gear to play in the afternoon. We also did our first movie night on Thursday and it was a huge success. The weather was not on our side all day Thursday but we had about 30 kids come out in the rain to walk to the Lazarus House on Thursday night to watch Over the Hedge with us.
It was a really good couple of days I am so grateful these two youth leaders wanted to come for those couple of days. I believe it really encouraged the community after the events of the week before. It helped them see we are here for the long haul and a shooting isn't going to send us packing. God is so good!
It was a really good couple of days I am so grateful these two youth leaders wanted to come for those couple of days. I believe it really encouraged the community after the events of the week before. It helped them see we are here for the long haul and a shooting isn't going to send us packing. God is so good!
Wednesday, October 25
all work and no play
A while back my friend Tory posted an email about getting to jump rope at work. I to have had that experience. All the girls laughed at my because I couldn't do it. But yesterday we showed up at work to help dig/move some dirt out in the front lawn. We took out part of our parking lot to make for more lawn play area. Some people are coming back to finish the project this weekend but we needed to clean up a little. We were marking tools to be used this weekend and we went in the basement of the Lazarus House (which is now being affectionately called 'The Department Store' because we have so much stored... many old old bikes, a variety of old broken or out dated unhook up able appliances... some were collected by Ron and are worth money and other things donated). I must rant for a moment totally off subject. Why do people feel they can donate broken and very out dated items to ministries. We are supposed to be giving out first fruit to God not our beat up worthless broken crap. This has been bothering me lately. I am not saying don't donate or only donate new things but please don't donate clearly crap things please take them to the dump yourself.
Just as I got distracted by my thoughts yesterday we got distracted by some scooters we found. There were 4 of them and there were 4 of us at work yesterday. Who gets scooter around their place of business and around the block. I do, I do! Here are some pictures for your enjoyment...
Don't be jealous because I have the coolest job ever!
The Boss and his wife (Ron and Donna)
Ron Scootering
Just as I got distracted by my thoughts yesterday we got distracted by some scooters we found. There were 4 of them and there were 4 of us at work yesterday. Who gets scooter around their place of business and around the block. I do, I do! Here are some pictures for your enjoyment...
Don't be jealous because I have the coolest job ever!
The Boss and his wife (Ron and Donna)
Ron Scootering
Tuesday, October 24
culture shock
Every once and awhile I am struck again with culture shock. I have not traveled 1000 miles away but I have been sucked into the christian world and when I come too I have culture shock. This may seem odd as I work in the inner city and one would think that I am cultured enough. The temptation to live in a bubble is so attractive to me and be naive to this world is so comfortable.
I will share with you a couple of instances in this past week that have caused me much shock...
The first was last Wednesday evening. I was at Outback doing my one shift a week and a guy about my age made a horribly crass sexual joke to his girlfriend (both employees). He then proceeded to follow it by a hand motion he laughed and walked away as if it was nothing. She did too in a sense. The male wants to be a manager he has gone through some training for it. Throughout the course of the night he sat around and watched others working as if he was too good to do a particular job. Both of us managers who were on duty wrote comments in the book. But I was caught off guard that this is the world I live in were crude and crass joking is simply okay, where laziness is a part of life and entitlement is a given (I don't have to do x or y because I am above that).
The following day Thursday last week there was a shooting about 3 blocks from where I work and about a 1/2 mile form my house. Not only was there this murder at 6:45pm on a Thursday in late Oct. But there were about 6 or 7 other reports prior to the murder of gun shots both on the north and south side of
Then yesterday I was watching Oprah, as I do once and awhile, she had amazing moms on the show the contrast between the women was jaw dropping. They were women form all over the world, one was from
I feel like there was another story or incident that had grabbed my attention over the last week but I can not think of it. It is not that I think these issues don't exist or am naive to what is going on. When there are so many different circumstances happening in such a short time, my heart began to feel so heavy. I just want to fly away some days...take me know Lord. But I know that He has sent us into this world to be a light in the darkness and a voice for the injustice for His glory alone.
I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. John 17:14-23
Monday, October 16
(good)Will's
I went to Wills this weekend. I found 2 pair of pants and 2 tops. Over all it was a good experience. I am still getting over the feeling of grossness about the clothing but I am getting there. Thanks for all who were an encouragement to me about going.
I really have not much else to say. On the ministry front, we have 2 groups coming in that is keeping me quite busy. I am coordinating them and the schedules and getting ready for what kind of training we need to do with them. I am also making much progress on the curriculum front, it is a lot of fun. Who knew writing curriculum would be fun, I feel like God is bringing together many experiences in 2 different camps and doing Jr. high. Some times in those places you are like what am I doing here and now I am like, "ah, I didn't realize I learned this at camp, but it is so useful now."
P.s. Sorry to those of you who had a heartattack from my last blog, as I was writing I couldn't help myself it was prefect.
I really have not much else to say. On the ministry front, we have 2 groups coming in that is keeping me quite busy. I am coordinating them and the schedules and getting ready for what kind of training we need to do with them. I am also making much progress on the curriculum front, it is a lot of fun. Who knew writing curriculum would be fun, I feel like God is bringing together many experiences in 2 different camps and doing Jr. high. Some times in those places you are like what am I doing here and now I am like, "ah, I didn't realize I learned this at camp, but it is so useful now."
P.s. Sorry to those of you who had a heartattack from my last blog, as I was writing I couldn't help myself it was prefect.
Saturday, October 14
found it!
Well I have found it, the place I am getting married. The place is a glass house in Plane, IL. Probably only in my dreams but that is where I am going to live f
or a moment.
So the story goes like this...
For my birthday a couple months ago Marks parents gave me $50. This money was to do something nice for Mark and I. I kind of forgot about it and a couple weeks later Mark says to me "where is that money from my parents?" "In the bank about to be spent on bills." I replied. We then got in the car and withdrew the money because he was like that money is for us. Then he told me he had a plan for the cash. I was like okay, I kind of wanted to get my hair done or something to be honest. But I was kind of excited about a surprise from my boyfriend.
He told me it had to do with fall leaves changing and it was 2.5 hours away, so it would be a day trip. Alright, we began to try to fit it into our schedules (this month is CRAZY), it was not working so we were going to let it go and if it worked it worked and if not, we have a lifetime to do this thing. Thursday Mark had a very bad day, He said I need a break maybe we could spend our $50 tomorrow. It was about 1:30pm in the afternoon and you needed to pre-register for tickets. He took care of all the details and it was a go.
He told he wanted 10 guess of where we were going. I had not clue, I couldn't even guess. In the morning he called and told me that we would be outside a little and inside a little and that my shoes would be on and off and he still wanted guess'. My only guess with the shoe clue was a special kind of Chuckie Cheese (because you take you shoes off to play). This is how clueless I was. I am okay with surprises Mark doesn't think so, but I like them they make me feel wonderful, special, and warm and fuzzy inside.
So we are off it is 8:50am Friday morning. Mark got directions and we still had to turn around a couple of times because when there are corn fields as far as you can see in all four directions, my internal compass is broken. We made it on time for our 12 noon tour. We pulled into a visitor center that looks like a white barnesk building, I still had no clue. I knew the name now but it didn't ring a bell, The Farnsworth House. We looked at books in the gift shop and I now knew the building we were going to tour and I was excited and Mark was ecstatic.
We walked along a path in the woods for about 6 minuets and then came to a clearing and there stood the most beautiful house ever!
A glass house! Oh my word it was so amazing. It stand 5'3'' off the ground because it is on a flood plane. There is a river right behind where this picture is taken. The grounds are beautiful as well. I had seen a picture of this house and thought it looked cool, but in person it is breath taking. Our tour guide was really good as well. We like to tour homes, most tour guides (docents) are kind of arrogant and stuffy. This guy was very casual and real and he acknowledged us, which is a first because we are usually the youngest by about 20+ years so no one talks to us. The house was designed by Mies van der Rohe for a single women. It was a weekend home very minimalistic. It is floor to ceiling glass walls, 22 panes in all. They are connected by white steal beams. As we are on the tour he is telling us about the house and different things and then he says and people can rent it out for weddings! My heart sank and I was like yup that's me, this is the place. And then Mark got down on... Just kidding!
It was a great day. We had a good time together. The house is breath taking. And the fall leaves make it even more remarkable.
This is a view from the back. It was a wonderful day.
One more detail, on the way home we still had $10 left from the day and we had a pumpkin carving bonfire to go to last night. So we stopped along the side of the road at this little pumpkin place and picked our own pumpkins. They were really nice ones too. We each got 2 pumpkins for $10. I will get more pictures up when we get them developed. Mark took a bunch of pictures of the house too. For more pictures of the house or information about it you can go to: http://www.farnsworthhouse.org/
pictures are from flickr.com
or a moment. So the story goes like this...
For my birthday a couple months ago Marks parents gave me $50. This money was to do something nice for Mark and I. I kind of forgot about it and a couple weeks later Mark says to me "where is that money from my parents?" "In the bank about to be spent on bills." I replied. We then got in the car and withdrew the money because he was like that money is for us. Then he told me he had a plan for the cash. I was like okay, I kind of wanted to get my hair done or something to be honest. But I was kind of excited about a surprise from my boyfriend.
He told me it had to do with fall leaves changing and it was 2.5 hours away, so it would be a day trip. Alright, we began to try to fit it into our schedules (this month is CRAZY), it was not working so we were going to let it go and if it worked it worked and if not, we have a lifetime to do this thing. Thursday Mark had a very bad day, He said I need a break maybe we could spend our $50 tomorrow. It was about 1:30pm in the afternoon and you needed to pre-register for tickets. He took care of all the details and it was a go.
He told he wanted 10 guess of where we were going. I had not clue, I couldn't even guess. In the morning he called and told me that we would be outside a little and inside a little and that my shoes would be on and off and he still wanted guess'. My only guess with the shoe clue was a special kind of Chuckie Cheese (because you take you shoes off to play). This is how clueless I was. I am okay with surprises Mark doesn't think so, but I like them they make me feel wonderful, special, and warm and fuzzy inside.
So we are off it is 8:50am Friday morning. Mark got directions and we still had to turn around a couple of times because when there are corn fields as far as you can see in all four directions, my internal compass is broken. We made it on time for our 12 noon tour. We pulled into a visitor center that looks like a white barnesk building, I still had no clue. I knew the name now but it didn't ring a bell, The Farnsworth House. We looked at books in the gift shop and I now knew the building we were going to tour and I was excited and Mark was ecstatic.
We walked along a path in the woods for about 6 minuets and then came to a clearing and there stood the most beautiful house ever!
A glass house! Oh my word it was so amazing. It stand 5'3'' off the ground because it is on a flood plane. There is a river right behind where this picture is taken. The grounds are beautiful as well. I had seen a picture of this house and thought it looked cool, but in person it is breath taking. Our tour guide was really good as well. We like to tour homes, most tour guides (docents) are kind of arrogant and stuffy. This guy was very casual and real and he acknowledged us, which is a first because we are usually the youngest by about 20+ years so no one talks to us. The house was designed by Mies van der Rohe for a single women. It was a weekend home very minimalistic. It is floor to ceiling glass walls, 22 panes in all. They are connected by white steal beams. As we are on the tour he is telling us about the house and different things and then he says and people can rent it out for weddings! My heart sank and I was like yup that's me, this is the place. And then Mark got down on... Just kidding!
It was a great day. We had a good time together. The house is breath taking. And the fall leaves make it even more remarkable.
This is a view from the back. It was a wonderful day.
One more detail, on the way home we still had $10 left from the day and we had a pumpkin carving bonfire to go to last night. So we stopped along the side of the road at this little pumpkin place and picked our own pumpkins. They were really nice ones too. We each got 2 pumpkins for $10. I will get more pictures up when we get them developed. Mark took a bunch of pictures of the house too. For more pictures of the house or information about it you can go to: http://www.farnsworthhouse.org/
pictures are from flickr.com
Monday, October 9
warfare
Today there were reports of N. Korea testing nuclear warfare. This weekend we as a staff experienced spiritual warfare. This is not the first time for this experience and it was not the worst but it made us take a look at it again. It was a good reminder that what we are doing is so much bigger than we are and that we are up against a spiritual battle.
We had a wRap Kidz buddiez event this weekend, our first of this season. We had a handful of buddiez there and the kids that came had a blast and had a ton of one on one attention which is amazing. We will not call this event a failure because of the warfare we experienced. We communicated to our buddiez the importance of their commitment and the details for this event. We were faced on Saturday hours before the event with questions of where we were meeting and some buddiez failed to bring lunch for their kids which was asked of them.
As we talked on Saturday and have had Sunday to cool down and think about our frustrations I know that some of what we experienced is because of the age of some buddiez, the result of volunteers, and some spiritual warfare. We realize that some of our buddiez are too young and the responsibility and the drama of high school can get in the way. We do also see the spiritual aspect of this being much greater. In this mentor program we see some troubled kids blossom and calm down and other kids become really serious about Christ. This is the way lives will be changed, we know that wRap Kidz is effective in reaching kids and turning the soil and planting seeds but it is in the one on one relationships that can only come from relationships like these that will truly cause the lives of these kids and eventually the community to change. This is the same with church activities and youth leaders pouring into kids or small groups.
Satan attacked in so many ways, we felt defeated as a staff (which we soon realized and were victorious in Christ), our buddiez were defeated through failed commitments, life distractions and circumstances, and the kids lost out big time. We again came back and concluded that we need to pray more. We communicated clearly and did as much as we could without holding hands, but we failed to pray enough for our volunteers and the kids.
We have groups coming in to serve in a few weeks we are so excited about them. One is a junior high group who has never been here before and are going to get there feet wet and the other is veteran senior high group who encourages us so much each time they come. We need to cover them in prayer for their hearts and the ways they will be serving. We can only be victorious in Christ and His power.
I guess as many of you ask how you can pray for me and us as a staff, this is how. We need prayer to not be defeated in the things God is asking us too and that the people God wants to serve and give to this ministry are not defeated in the things God is asking them to do.
We had a wRap Kidz buddiez event this weekend, our first of this season. We had a handful of buddiez there and the kids that came had a blast and had a ton of one on one attention which is amazing. We will not call this event a failure because of the warfare we experienced. We communicated to our buddiez the importance of their commitment and the details for this event. We were faced on Saturday hours before the event with questions of where we were meeting and some buddiez failed to bring lunch for their kids which was asked of them.
As we talked on Saturday and have had Sunday to cool down and think about our frustrations I know that some of what we experienced is because of the age of some buddiez, the result of volunteers, and some spiritual warfare. We realize that some of our buddiez are too young and the responsibility and the drama of high school can get in the way. We do also see the spiritual aspect of this being much greater. In this mentor program we see some troubled kids blossom and calm down and other kids become really serious about Christ. This is the way lives will be changed, we know that wRap Kidz is effective in reaching kids and turning the soil and planting seeds but it is in the one on one relationships that can only come from relationships like these that will truly cause the lives of these kids and eventually the community to change. This is the same with church activities and youth leaders pouring into kids or small groups.
Satan attacked in so many ways, we felt defeated as a staff (which we soon realized and were victorious in Christ), our buddiez were defeated through failed commitments, life distractions and circumstances, and the kids lost out big time. We again came back and concluded that we need to pray more. We communicated clearly and did as much as we could without holding hands, but we failed to pray enough for our volunteers and the kids.
We have groups coming in to serve in a few weeks we are so excited about them. One is a junior high group who has never been here before and are going to get there feet wet and the other is veteran senior high group who encourages us so much each time they come. We need to cover them in prayer for their hearts and the ways they will be serving. We can only be victorious in Christ and His power.
I guess as many of you ask how you can pray for me and us as a staff, this is how. We need prayer to not be defeated in the things God is asking us too and that the people God wants to serve and give to this ministry are not defeated in the things God is asking them to do.
Thursday, October 5
You saved $9.20
These are my most favorite words to hear these days. Many adjustments have been made since living on my own. The best piece of mail I receive each week is the Pick n Save flyer. I love the 10 for $10 not that I ever would need 250 freezie pops but 25 are only a $1. Or 10 boxes of microwave popcorn, not that I wouldn’t love that. Mark has joked about getting the Sunday paper simply for the coupons. He has saved over the cost of the Sunday Journal Times when he has used coupons. Secretly I want it, too! And Wednesday are double coupons days at Pick n Save. $$$ Other deals at Pick n Save are pretty swell too, lots of BOGO’s on good things. My Shopping list for the most part is made up of BOGO’s or 10 for 10 deals.
I love this, lest you think I am suffering for having to work so diligently to save money. I don’t feel as if I am penny pinching, I am simply being practical and I feel wise with the money God blesses me with. I have made a commitment every time God blesses me with money I get something special for myself, something I wouldn’t normally buy. One time I got Claussen Pickles (these are my favorite) and this past week, after anonymously receiving $100 from someone, I purchased frozen single serve Cinnamon Rolls ready to eat in 60 seconds. I am excited about these.
My latest and greatest deal thus far was yesterday. In the weekly advertisement was 32oz. Tres`eme Shampoo for $1.89 each. What a steal! I got 2 shampoos and 2 conditioners for $7.95, I saved $9.20. Amazing. Earlier this summer in an attempt to save I went to Sam’s and got big bottles for $6 each, I thought I was saving. Yesterday I got twice as much for $4 cheaper. Jackpot!
I know these things seem silly and could maybe give me an ulcer, but I love it I feel so rich and privileged. I have said before that “I feel as if I live in a condo on the lake.” I don’t, but I love my apartment and truly feel it is a gift from God. I still sit in awe at how cheap it is for me and how beautiful and nice it is. You may not feel that way when you walk in my door, but I love it, love it, love it!
I have been praying lately that God would help me be okay with Goodwill and Rummage sales. Not that everything I wear or own should or will come from these places. It is not that I want to shop at Pottery Barn or Macy’s but I kind of think they are gross to be honest. I used to feel like it was like wearing someone else’s underwear. I have no idea what that is like but I can imagine it is GROSS. God is helping me be content with it being gross and He is helping me to be content with those means of getting clothing and ‘things’. I was always jealous of people who could say, “Goodwill $3.00” or “Rummage 50 cents”, and it was a nice leather jacket or cute pair of jeans. I know that God desires for me to treat myself once and a while, He is not into pity parties by any means. But being thrifty is being wise, too.
I asked my friend Michelle to go with me next time I have a little money and help me find the good things at Wills (aka Goodwill). I am getting excited about this adventure and I am still praying God would help me get over my grossness fetish.
I love this, lest you think I am suffering for having to work so diligently to save money. I don’t feel as if I am penny pinching, I am simply being practical and I feel wise with the money God blesses me with. I have made a commitment every time God blesses me with money I get something special for myself, something I wouldn’t normally buy. One time I got Claussen Pickles (these are my favorite) and this past week, after anonymously receiving $100 from someone, I purchased frozen single serve Cinnamon Rolls ready to eat in 60 seconds. I am excited about these.
My latest and greatest deal thus far was yesterday. In the weekly advertisement was 32oz. Tres`eme Shampoo for $1.89 each. What a steal! I got 2 shampoos and 2 conditioners for $7.95, I saved $9.20. Amazing. Earlier this summer in an attempt to save I went to Sam’s and got big bottles for $6 each, I thought I was saving. Yesterday I got twice as much for $4 cheaper. Jackpot!
I know these things seem silly and could maybe give me an ulcer, but I love it I feel so rich and privileged. I have said before that “I feel as if I live in a condo on the lake.” I don’t, but I love my apartment and truly feel it is a gift from God. I still sit in awe at how cheap it is for me and how beautiful and nice it is. You may not feel that way when you walk in my door, but I love it, love it, love it!
I have been praying lately that God would help me be okay with Goodwill and Rummage sales. Not that everything I wear or own should or will come from these places. It is not that I want to shop at Pottery Barn or Macy’s but I kind of think they are gross to be honest. I used to feel like it was like wearing someone else’s underwear. I have no idea what that is like but I can imagine it is GROSS. God is helping me be content with it being gross and He is helping me to be content with those means of getting clothing and ‘things’. I was always jealous of people who could say, “Goodwill $3.00” or “Rummage 50 cents”, and it was a nice leather jacket or cute pair of jeans. I know that God desires for me to treat myself once and a while, He is not into pity parties by any means. But being thrifty is being wise, too.
I asked my friend Michelle to go with me next time I have a little money and help me find the good things at Wills (aka Goodwill). I am getting excited about this adventure and I am still praying God would help me get over my grossness fetish.
Monday, September 25
A weekend
This past weekend God sent us away as staff. We had planned a retreat about a month ago, we wanted to go away but we felt like doors kept shutting on our options. We had a few different cabins, one with no shower, one was a trailer, others were too far away... none of these things were that bad but we wanted to be able to really meet with each other and with God and not have distractions of one another stench or being on top of each other with no space at all.
Thursday afternoon we met together to decide what to do about the weekend. We concluded we knew God wanted us together and it didn't matter where. My apartment was an option as my roommates were gone for the weekend and we had a few others, in the middle of the weekend Mark came up with the idea to go to Grand Rapids, MI and stay with a friend of ours who owned her own home and had a gracious heart. He called she said yes, and we got a van and in less than 24 hours from the phone call we were in GR.
We had an amazing weekend of becoming a family of siblings focusing on God as our father. We got to know each other very well, we rub up against each other good and bad. We began to understand what makes each other tick. We view each other as staff as sibling with no hierarchy. Ron does take the lead but we each are able to lead when we feel the Lord nudging us. It was the prefect weekend, we needed to get away we each had things that would have been distractions to the weekend had we stayed here, people, events, schoolwork and life.
On Saturday we spent a period of time getting with God. It was a time for me in which God brought many things together. I have been doing a couple different things in getting with God lately, going through the book of Romans through my bible study, John 15 with my small group and reading the book Irresistible Revolution. In my time God began by showing me how many things were distracting me at the moment and how I make distractions in life to avoid going deeper with Him and with people. As I began to quiet myself and seek Him, He was quick to reveal Himself to me. He took me to Psalm 41:13 "I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear I will help you.'" In John 15 Jesus is talking about how we are friends of Him if we remain in the vine and how He chose us, we did not choose Him. He chose me to serve Him in the inner city by being Christ to these people and He has taken hold of my right hand and He is the one helping me every step of the way when I remain in His vine. I have nothing to fear when I am in His presence being obedient to what He has called me to do.
This thought was so simple to me at that moment, it was a huge reassurance of being in His will right now. As people say things to me (or us as a staff) like, have you found a job yet, are you happy with your choice, is everything turning out like you had hoped, are you sure about this, etc. The list goes on and on, these are things said to all of us by people we love and care about, not simply people we randomly meet. In those conversations Satan steps in and makes you doubt sometimes what God, who has created the universe to every last detail, has called each of us to do. And other times we are just hurt because these people don't trust our choices. We understand as a staff and I personally that what we are doing seems crazy to some (well most people). But God has called us to do something for Him, is it always easy NO, but the joy and heavenly rewards are incredible. I hesitate to make my walk with the Lord sound like it is peaches and cream all the time, the things He asks me to do are tough but the life of disobedience is tougher and heartbreaking!
Thursday afternoon we met together to decide what to do about the weekend. We concluded we knew God wanted us together and it didn't matter where. My apartment was an option as my roommates were gone for the weekend and we had a few others, in the middle of the weekend Mark came up with the idea to go to Grand Rapids, MI and stay with a friend of ours who owned her own home and had a gracious heart. He called she said yes, and we got a van and in less than 24 hours from the phone call we were in GR.
We had an amazing weekend of becoming a family of siblings focusing on God as our father. We got to know each other very well, we rub up against each other good and bad. We began to understand what makes each other tick. We view each other as staff as sibling with no hierarchy. Ron does take the lead but we each are able to lead when we feel the Lord nudging us. It was the prefect weekend, we needed to get away we each had things that would have been distractions to the weekend had we stayed here, people, events, schoolwork and life.
On Saturday we spent a period of time getting with God. It was a time for me in which God brought many things together. I have been doing a couple different things in getting with God lately, going through the book of Romans through my bible study, John 15 with my small group and reading the book Irresistible Revolution. In my time God began by showing me how many things were distracting me at the moment and how I make distractions in life to avoid going deeper with Him and with people. As I began to quiet myself and seek Him, He was quick to reveal Himself to me. He took me to Psalm 41:13 "I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear I will help you.'" In John 15 Jesus is talking about how we are friends of Him if we remain in the vine and how He chose us, we did not choose Him. He chose me to serve Him in the inner city by being Christ to these people and He has taken hold of my right hand and He is the one helping me every step of the way when I remain in His vine. I have nothing to fear when I am in His presence being obedient to what He has called me to do.
This thought was so simple to me at that moment, it was a huge reassurance of being in His will right now. As people say things to me (or us as a staff) like, have you found a job yet, are you happy with your choice, is everything turning out like you had hoped, are you sure about this, etc. The list goes on and on, these are things said to all of us by people we love and care about, not simply people we randomly meet. In those conversations Satan steps in and makes you doubt sometimes what God, who has created the universe to every last detail, has called each of us to do. And other times we are just hurt because these people don't trust our choices. We understand as a staff and I personally that what we are doing seems crazy to some (well most people). But God has called us to do something for Him, is it always easy NO, but the joy and heavenly rewards are incredible. I hesitate to make my walk with the Lord sound like it is peaches and cream all the time, the things He asks me to do are tough but the life of disobedience is tougher and heartbreaking!
Thursday, September 21
learning
I have failed this week. I have been trying to post every Monday and well not so much this week. Finally 72 hours later I am getting around to it.
We had a great event this past Sunday. We did a wRap Kidz Sunday at a Church in Racine. We were church, we did church and God showed up. Steve (one of the other staff members) and I went out last Thursday afternoon to get permission slips, we signed up 33 kids to go and other people had some other kids they signed up I believe we ended up with about 50 kids in all. While we were out last Thursday we really saw the fruit of our ministry in the relationships we have built within this community over the last 4 months. Steve has been helping out with the ministry for a couple of years and came on staff last October. It was amazing to see the kids excitement when they come running out of the house or even across the street to greet us. The were so excited. Meeting some parents for the first time and some for the 20th was awesome also. We were able to tell the parents more about our ministry and how awesome their kids are.
On Sunday morning we went to pick up the kids and many of them showed up. We went out to the church and they sang some of the songs we taught them this summer and did the motions. There was more movement going on in that church than I have experienced in my whole Christian walk probably. We as staff shared about what God was doing through our ministry in the inner city. I was able to share some of my miracles that God has done in getting my bills paid. It was awesome there are a few other churches in Racine that would like us to come and do something like this in there church on a Sunday morning. We are excited about going.
Quick story in this whole process, I have gained a new appreciation for my friend Brandon. I was in charge of putting together the power point for the service with the songs and all. I spent hours putting 50+ slides together editing and aligning them with the music so the person would not have to go back and forth. The music we sang was is not 'normal' church music so the sound guy was not familiar with it. I got it to the church and got it on the computer there only to find out the font I used which I love, was not on that computer. I had to reformat all the slides so that the font fit on the slides. I had prayed earlier in the week as I was working on the slides that God would help me be okay if the slides didn't work out just perfect. He did. I have been witness to many a technical difficulty during a church service or youth group. Brandon usually did the power point for his talks and usually the worship for the evening or morning, I now know how much time it takes and the frusteration that could come from things not working.
We are going on a Staff Retreat this weekend. It should be good, I am looking forward to spending time with them. We are going to a friends house in Grand Rapids, Mark has connections.
This is Steve:
We had a great event this past Sunday. We did a wRap Kidz Sunday at a Church in Racine. We were church, we did church and God showed up. Steve (one of the other staff members) and I went out last Thursday afternoon to get permission slips, we signed up 33 kids to go and other people had some other kids they signed up I believe we ended up with about 50 kids in all. While we were out last Thursday we really saw the fruit of our ministry in the relationships we have built within this community over the last 4 months. Steve has been helping out with the ministry for a couple of years and came on staff last October. It was amazing to see the kids excitement when they come running out of the house or even across the street to greet us. The were so excited. Meeting some parents for the first time and some for the 20th was awesome also. We were able to tell the parents more about our ministry and how awesome their kids are.
On Sunday morning we went to pick up the kids and many of them showed up. We went out to the church and they sang some of the songs we taught them this summer and did the motions. There was more movement going on in that church than I have experienced in my whole Christian walk probably. We as staff shared about what God was doing through our ministry in the inner city. I was able to share some of my miracles that God has done in getting my bills paid. It was awesome there are a few other churches in Racine that would like us to come and do something like this in there church on a Sunday morning. We are excited about going.
Quick story in this whole process, I have gained a new appreciation for my friend Brandon. I was in charge of putting together the power point for the service with the songs and all. I spent hours putting 50+ slides together editing and aligning them with the music so the person would not have to go back and forth. The music we sang was is not 'normal' church music so the sound guy was not familiar with it. I got it to the church and got it on the computer there only to find out the font I used which I love, was not on that computer. I had to reformat all the slides so that the font fit on the slides. I had prayed earlier in the week as I was working on the slides that God would help me be okay if the slides didn't work out just perfect. He did. I have been witness to many a technical difficulty during a church service or youth group. Brandon usually did the power point for his talks and usually the worship for the evening or morning, I now know how much time it takes and the frusteration that could come from things not working.
We are going on a Staff Retreat this weekend. It should be good, I am looking forward to spending time with them. We are going to a friends house in Grand Rapids, Mark has connections.
This is Steve:
Tuesday, September 12
Mixing it up
God has been teaching me a lot lately. It has been a wild ride with ups and downs. It has been hard some days. I have been blessed to be able to make up my own job as I go along and really more so as God reveals His plan for me and my ministry in the inner city. This is incredible but it is a HUGE responsibility to be listening for God and then moving on what He wants. I have struggled the last couple of weeks with what it should look like. You think about Family Ministries or Women's Ministries and it means parenting classes, scrap booking, bible studies, fitness classes you name it. While some of that will work at some point in the inner city that is not where God wants it to go right now, that would fill no need in the 'hood. I have battled with this all summer trying to figure out what my ministry should look like. And thinking about what other people think my ministry should look. Oh man that is a bad place to be when you are trying to follow what God wants. The conflict that comes it not good, I should have never let Satan take me to those thoughts. There where many other things going on as well, I watch my roommates work hard, one has two jobs and school and another is a first year teacher. Needless to say they are never home and work while they are here. I sit an compare myself to them, NOT good either. I am striking out all over. When I don't have to go to work until 9 or 10 and they have been up and out for 3 hours at that point. But then I fail to remember my working at nights or on the weekend. The feelings of 'I am not doing enough' and then God says to me, "Compared to who are you no doing enough. You are fine."
I have many past experiences that God wants to use within this ministry from camping ministry to Junior High Ministry to being on a Ministry Team. In times I feel as if I am stepping on toes with what God wants me to do because it falls in someone elses area or it doesn't really fit into Family Ministries. Last week after a night of uncertainty and brokenness I spent some good time with the Lord. He simply said to me, "It is not going to look like anything you can imagine or put together," and at another point He said, "Stop trying to live the life I have called you to and just live the truth you know." Two powerful things. I was broken realizing what what i was doing. Then the clarity came and He showed me more areas where He was stretching me and where I needed to let go.
I love my planner, I mean LOVE it. I live by it. I opened at a recent staff meeting and the month of September had about 3 events written on it. My thought was, "I am a bum, I don't have any thing going on." I am so bad with my planner that I would go in and write events that have already happened on dates so that at the end of the month I feel as if I have been productive and I am popular with social events. Because my month is packed. Oh it is disgusting. In my new job nothing is planned very much in advance and some social events are also staff meetings or time together. I am still working through these thoughts of a full schedule means success. I am learning and God is teaching me in it how to live within His planner because it is more balanced.
I have met with Ron and Donna and we talked about the direction of my ministry in particular and I am so excited now and before I know it I will need to use a planner to make sure I have enough downtime because I will be busy before I know it. Part of family ministries is working with volunteers who want to come in and serve. My ministry is the bridge that equips people to connect to inner city families. We don't want or have work for all people who come in to serve on our building we want them to go into the home of a family and truly be Christ to them. My ministry will be the connection for this as I know the families in the 'hood. This is just one aspect of my job.
One area I really feel God calling me to is to write a curriculum for our wRap Kidz program. I felt like I was stepping on toes with our wRap Kidz director. But with the experiences God has blessed me with I know I am supposed to be working on it. I want to work with Katy and we will work together but we need to create an outline of a program so we are more free with work with in on a daily basis next summer. I am so excited for this. I have many ideas and can't wait to get the ball rolling. This is what I will be spending the majority of my time on for the next couple weeks. Then as things begin to pick-up it will already be in the works.
God has really been mixing it up lately. But I like it, sometimes the beaters hurt but the faster you learn the quick you can become more of what He is creating me to be.
Monday, September 4
Affirmation
Most days I wake up and I can't believe that I am so blessed to get to do what I do. Most people have to take off work or rearrange schedules to get to serve in the inner city, yet God has called me to this place for what the world sees as a 'job', how I make my living. But this gets to be my lifestyle. I just can't fathom it. Why me? I look at some stupid things I do, my sin and I compare myself to other people and think my faith is not even close to where it should be. But where exactly is that? I am comparing it to a friend, co-worker, or maybe some one I admire, these people are not the ones I should be comparing myself to. I can only ask one person one question, God. He always smiles down and says, "Sweet Daughter, you are right where I want you," or "Beloved, you are on the right track." These are things he has shared with me in my moments of question and disbelief.
Some of these moments of doubts comes with the close of the summer. My job falls more on my shoulders, I begin to really direct its steps with the guidance of the Lord. I have been scared. It requires so much more vulnerability on my part. Putting myself out there trying to connect with women in the community, by doing home visits. These make me nervous because I will go door to door with some of the women whom I have made relationships with this past summer. God will provided all that I need but in preparation I think of conversation starters and planning the conversation. I worry and am distracted over the little things. I know that it will be as rewarding as the summer.
God has been encouraging my heart in other ways as well. Our last event for the summer and in some ways first big event for the community was a huge success because God showed up. He brought the people he wanted there. We held an event in conjunction with the Starving Jesus tour. In the afternoon we had a picnic lunch and games for the wRap Kidz. This was awesome. The kids had not seen many of us in about two weeks, so let's say they were pumped! It was incredible to see them come running in looking for their favorite intern or staff member. The hugs were tight and long last Tuesday. The kids had a blast. We had a break and a transition time to get ready for a coffee house in the evening for young adults. Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon came for the evening part and spoke about not being chained to a pew and getting out into the community. God used this message to convict some and for us as staff He strongly encouraged our hearts by showing us we weren't alone. These guys are doing a 40 city tour sharing this message. We had a coffee house then were people could meander around to 3 different rooms for prayer, worship or fellowship. People stayed and hung out and really fellowshiped. It was awesome to see. We had about 60 - 70 young adults there. The building was being used for what God wanted to do that night. It was great people have commented on how strong the spirit was in that building. When you work in a place everyday or you get used to that feeling you forget. I have prayed that I would still notice that feeling.
In preparation for the event Mark had been planning for months and I joined him full force about a week prior to the event. We worked hard, it was crazy how many details kept coming up. Both of us have worked in a church before. I volunteered in a position and I didn't need much help because I didn't have many kids but I still know what it is like to put events on alone. Mark on the other hand has done many many events set-up and tear down alone. He has done some big events that way. He hates it. Last Monday that day before the event we had gotten 90% of the things we needed to decorate and such to the Lazarus House. I and another staff member had called our staff from the summer and they came with a few others on Monday for 4 hours and in the morning on Tuesday to set-up. It was amazing Mark was so blessed and blown away because he could actually run last minuet errands while we were setting up and he didn't have to do it all alone. We transformed the Lazarus House, it was awesome. The Lazarus House is a 1851 mansion with a 1912 addition and we are restoring it to the original time period. So, needless to say that process is timely and expensive. But the Lord is providing in that and is making it into a building that is beautiful in a neighbor that needs it. It is not near finished but it is functional and God helped us make it into a wonderful space for Tuesday.
It was a day of encouragement in from the planning to the clean-up.
(I know this blog is sort of all over the place, sorry)
Some of these moments of doubts comes with the close of the summer. My job falls more on my shoulders, I begin to really direct its steps with the guidance of the Lord. I have been scared. It requires so much more vulnerability on my part. Putting myself out there trying to connect with women in the community, by doing home visits. These make me nervous because I will go door to door with some of the women whom I have made relationships with this past summer. God will provided all that I need but in preparation I think of conversation starters and planning the conversation. I worry and am distracted over the little things. I know that it will be as rewarding as the summer.
God has been encouraging my heart in other ways as well. Our last event for the summer and in some ways first big event for the community was a huge success because God showed up. He brought the people he wanted there. We held an event in conjunction with the Starving Jesus tour. In the afternoon we had a picnic lunch and games for the wRap Kidz. This was awesome. The kids had not seen many of us in about two weeks, so let's say they were pumped! It was incredible to see them come running in looking for their favorite intern or staff member. The hugs were tight and long last Tuesday. The kids had a blast. We had a break and a transition time to get ready for a coffee house in the evening for young adults. Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon came for the evening part and spoke about not being chained to a pew and getting out into the community. God used this message to convict some and for us as staff He strongly encouraged our hearts by showing us we weren't alone. These guys are doing a 40 city tour sharing this message. We had a coffee house then were people could meander around to 3 different rooms for prayer, worship or fellowship. People stayed and hung out and really fellowshiped. It was awesome to see. We had about 60 - 70 young adults there. The building was being used for what God wanted to do that night. It was great people have commented on how strong the spirit was in that building. When you work in a place everyday or you get used to that feeling you forget. I have prayed that I would still notice that feeling.
In preparation for the event Mark had been planning for months and I joined him full force about a week prior to the event. We worked hard, it was crazy how many details kept coming up. Both of us have worked in a church before. I volunteered in a position and I didn't need much help because I didn't have many kids but I still know what it is like to put events on alone. Mark on the other hand has done many many events set-up and tear down alone. He has done some big events that way. He hates it. Last Monday that day before the event we had gotten 90% of the things we needed to decorate and such to the Lazarus House. I and another staff member had called our staff from the summer and they came with a few others on Monday for 4 hours and in the morning on Tuesday to set-up. It was amazing Mark was so blessed and blown away because he could actually run last minuet errands while we were setting up and he didn't have to do it all alone. We transformed the Lazarus House, it was awesome. The Lazarus House is a 1851 mansion with a 1912 addition and we are restoring it to the original time period. So, needless to say that process is timely and expensive. But the Lord is providing in that and is making it into a building that is beautiful in a neighbor that needs it. It is not near finished but it is functional and God helped us make it into a wonderful space for Tuesday.
It was a day of encouragement in from the planning to the clean-up.
(I know this blog is sort of all over the place, sorry)
Monday, August 28
Update
Sorry for the delay in updates I am not making excuses simply explaining: I went on vacation and my laptop went to the shop because my backlight kept going out.
But I am back and so is my laptop which is amazing. Oh, how I love my computer. I know I can live without it but I use it so much. I am jst getting my monies worth.
During the last week of wRap Kidz Mark had his fifth and sixth graders on their mission trip to the 'hood'. They work with this ministry and focus on one street and clean it up and play with the kids. I helped clean yards. One house we worked on is right next to Ron and Donna's (my boss'). I has been vacant for about 6 years not up for sale or rent. We are praying for it as a minstry. We hope to use it for staff housing in some fashion. Here are some pictures from before
and after on the house I worked on.
I worked on this house with a group of 5 fifth and sixth graders who worked hard. We had a lot of work to do as you can see!
I am also going to post a picture of Jamel and I and some other kids so you can see the ones who have stole my heart!
But I am back and so is my laptop which is amazing. Oh, how I love my computer. I know I can live without it but I use it so much. I am jst getting my monies worth.
During the last week of wRap Kidz Mark had his fifth and sixth graders on their mission trip to the 'hood'. They work with this ministry and focus on one street and clean it up and play with the kids. I helped clean yards. One house we worked on is right next to Ron and Donna's (my boss'). I has been vacant for about 6 years not up for sale or rent. We are praying for it as a minstry. We hope to use it for staff housing in some fashion. Here are some pictures from before
and after on the house I worked on.
I worked on this house with a group of 5 fifth and sixth graders who worked hard. We had a lot of work to do as you can see!
I am also going to post a picture of Jamel and I and some other kids so you can see the ones who have stole my heart!
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